Comments Made on Welfare Applications

Urban Legends Reference Pages

[Victoria Delsoul]

The following are reputedly comments made on applications for welfare.

-- I am forwarding my marriage certificate and 6 children. I had 7 but one died, which was baptized on a half sheet of paper.

-- I am writing to the welfare department to say that my baby was born 2 years old. When do I get my money?

-- Mrs. Jones has not had any clothes for a year and has been visited regularly by the clergy.

-- I cannot get sick pay. I have 6 children. Can you tell me why?

-- I am glad to report that my husband who was reported missing is dead.

-- This is my eight child, what are you going to do about it?

-- Please find for certain if my husband is dead; the man I am now living with can't eat or do anything until he knows.

-- I am very much annoyed to find that you have branded my boy illiterate as this is a dirty lie. I was married to his father a week before he was born.

-- In answer to your letter, I have given birth to a boy weighing 10 pounds. I hope this is satisfactory.

-- I am forwarding my marriage certificate and my 3 children, one of which was a mistake, as you will see.

-- My husband got his project cut off 1 week ago and I haven't had any relief since.

-- Unless I get my husband's money soon, I will be forced to lead an immortal life.

-- You have changed my little boy to a girl. Will this make any difference?

-- I have no children yet, as my husband is a bus driver and works day and night.

-- In accordance with your instructions, I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope.

-- I want my money as soon as I can get it. I have been in bed with the doctor for 2 months and he doesn't doe me any good. If things don't improve, I will have to send for another doctor.

[Victoria Delsoul]

Thank you, Louie. :-)

[Luis Gonzalez]

Funny BUMP!!!!

Thanks for the laugh, I needed one.

Luis

[Victoria Delsoul]

You're welcome, Luis.

[Sir Gawain]

[Victoria Delsoul]

[Sir Gawain]

oh brother! (groan!) :-D

[Victoria Delsoul]

LOL!

[LarryLied]

I was in the personal office of Yale New Haven Hospital when a scraggly looking guy in his early 20's walked in. When the receptionist asked him what position he was applying for, he said he wanted to be a doctor.

[mafree]

I just looked at your profile page for the first time and I must compliment you on the many nice picture, quotes and poems. Very well done!

[Victoria Delsoul]

OMG! LOL!

[Victoria Delsoul]

Thanks so much, mafree.

[RonDog]

Thanks for the flag, and thank yo for bumping Cacique's WONDERFUL FReeper Christmas webpage thread.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

[fleebag]

Merry Christmas Victoria and thanks for the flag.A chuckle is good for the soul.

[RonDog]

When I was reading your light-hearted post for the first time, I hit "Page Down" and your elegant Christmas card (with the cardinals) was cropped in my computer screen in a way that I could only see the bottom inch or two - just below the second bird.

Try it. Memories flooded me - of that "Never Forget" photograph with the people about to jump from the smoke-filled windows of the World Trade Center.

Our generation WILL never forget.

[jjbrouwer]

The subtle approach works sometimes:

[Victoria Delsoul]

LOL, good one, JJ!

[Victoria Delsoul]

Our generation WILL never forget.

We won't forget, indeed!

[Victoria Delsoul]

You're very welcome. Glad to see you, fleebag.

[backhoe]

Ouch!

Merry Christmas!

[Bernard]

On the other hand, even if they get some of the words wrong, they can write. That's more than I thought the educational system was providing.