Posted on 12/17/2001 5:56:14 PM PST by aculeus
THE seven year itch does exist, according to a new survey on the state of marriage in Britain, but women get itchier than men.
It paints a picture of modern marriages as the reverse of traditional stereotypes, with women fantasising more than men about leaving.
The MORI poll of nearly 1,000 married adults for the Reader’s Digest was hailed by relationship experts as an insight into changing roles.
When asked “have you ever wished you could just wake up one morning and not be married any more?”, one in five wives said yes, as opposed to one in seven husbands.
The first five years of marriage and those who had reached their golden wedding anniversary were the most stable, with only one in ten spouses during these periods answering yes.
But at six to nine years after the wedding there was a peak in people wanting an escape, with a third of married people at that stage answering yes.
Women at all ages were still about a third more likely than men to say that they wished not to be married.
Twice as many wives as husbands, at around one in seven, also said that they wanted to “live on my own for a while”. Again, the biggest danger period for this feeling was around seven years, along with the first year of marriage.
By contrast a third of men, slightly more than women, said that they wished they could spend more time with their spouse, and men aged under 34 were particularly worried about not seeing enough of their wives.
Men were also more likely than women to say that they wished they could ask their partners to be more affectionate, and talk more about their sex life.
Denise Knowles, a relationship counsellor for Relate, said that the findings were a snapshot of an institution in flux.
“What we’re beginning to see is an pendulum swing, with lots of men wanting to talk about emotional things, while women become less family orientated,” she said.
“Women held the emotional balance, but now they have more opportunity to get out. At the same time there is increasing insecurity for men, so it is not surprising they want the security of marriage.”
There is, however, an optimistic note. While six per cent of husbands and wives dreamt of having an affair, double that said that they aspired to own a dog. By the time a couple were middle-aged, the wish to own a dog was nearly five times greater than the temptations of a lover.
“This is an excellent sign, because a dog represents a life of stability and roses around the door. It’s really romantic stuff,” said Ms Knowles.
I recall a survey like that. Out of 1,100 couples who were tracked, about 50% ended up divorced. Among those who attended church together, the divorce rate was two (2) percent. Among those who attended church together and prayed together at home, only one couple divorced.
See my post #22. There's a reason for bringing religion into it.
Thank you for my first good laugh of the day.
Now you know why guys discuss their sex lives with other guys.
I guess they can't discuss it with their wives.
I have a number of friends who waited until their mid-late thirties to have children, or even early forties -- and have watched quite a few marriages fall apart. I wonder sometimes if it's the loss of control??
We, on the other hand, were 22 and 23 when our twins were born (19 and 20 when we married) -- the way I figure it, we're not planning on more children, at ages 41 and 42 they'll be graduating high school, and we'll have quite a life left.
There is a lot to look forward to, and plenty of time to enjoy the now.
Make sense?
twinzmommy
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