Women get itchier than men after seven years

The Times (UK) ^ | December 18, 2001 | HELEN RUMBELOW

[aculeus]

THE seven year itch does exist, according to a new survey on the state of marriage in Britain, but women get itchier than men.

It paints a picture of modern marriages as the reverse of traditional stereotypes, with women fantasising more than men about leaving.

The MORI poll of nearly 1,000 married adults for the Reader’s Digest was hailed by relationship experts as an insight into changing roles.

When asked “have you ever wished you could just wake up one morning and not be married any more?”, one in five wives said yes, as opposed to one in seven husbands.

The first five years of marriage and those who had reached their golden wedding anniversary were the most stable, with only one in ten spouses during these periods answering yes.

But at six to nine years after the wedding there was a peak in people wanting an escape, with a third of married people at that stage answering yes.

Women at all ages were still about a third more likely than men to say that they wished not to be married.

Twice as many wives as husbands, at around one in seven, also said that they wanted to “live on my own for a while”. Again, the biggest danger period for this feeling was around seven years, along with the first year of marriage.

By contrast a third of men, slightly more than women, said that they wished they could spend more time with their spouse, and men aged under 34 were particularly worried about not seeing enough of their wives.

Men were also more likely than women to say that they wished they could ask their partners to be more affectionate, and talk more about their sex life.

Denise Knowles, a relationship counsellor for Relate, said that the findings were a snapshot of an institution in flux.

“What we’re beginning to see is an pendulum swing, with lots of men wanting to talk about emotional things, while women become less family orientated,” she said.

“Women held the emotional balance, but now they have more opportunity to get out. At the same time there is increasing insecurity for men, so it is not surprising they want the security of marriage.”

There is, however, an optimistic note. While six per cent of husbands and wives dreamt of having an affair, double that said that they aspired to own a dog. By the time a couple were middle-aged, the wish to own a dog was nearly five times greater than the temptations of a lover.

“This is an excellent sign, because a dog represents a life of stability and roses around the door. It’s really romantic stuff,” said Ms Knowles.

[aculeus]

Wanting a dog is an 'excellent sign'?

It must be a British thing.

[Pharmboy]

It's a yeast infection.

[pray4liberty]

Well, he's got his dog and I've got mine after 18 years. Guess we solved all our problems. I'm dying with laughter over here.

[blam]

I just settled for the dogs.

[Robert357]

A good dog will give unconditional love for its life. A wife, on the other hand, will provide love for a decade or so and then some distance as she prioritizes taking care of kids etc. and feels neglected, because she has less time for herself and when you spent time with the kids to give her a rest spell you are not focusing on her. Ah, the reality of marriage and life.

[Iowa Granny]

I think I know why all those young women in the UK want out,,,,, it's all that sex in cars after the Christmas Parties. (Did it really take an old babe to figure this out?)

[mercy]

****When asked “have you ever wished you could just wake up one morning and not be married any more?”, one in five wives said yes, as opposed to one in seven husbands.****

Two thirds of em were lyin! On both sides. Modern marriage sucks. The destruction of the family has ruined marriage. All the REAL, deep seated, soul stirring reasons to marry and stay with that person for life are gone. History. Barely a memory hanging about in literature that nobody understands any more. I could go on but nobody would know what I was talkin about.

[Don Myers]

bttt

[2nd_Ammendment_Defender]

If you leave God out of your marriage you end up like this. They have done surveys and found very few marriages were in major trouble when the husband and wife pray together on a daily basis.

[nicollo]

go on.

[RedBloodedAmerican]

Why did you edit the letter "b" out of a bunch of words?

[RedBloodedAmerican]

50% of christians couples divorce. Sad but true. Even the Bride of Christ commits adultery.

[185JHP]

Behavior that is rewarded is reinforced. When women are encouraged to bitch and moan, by enablers like Donahue, what should we expect? There are still fine women around - some are here on FR. The feral ones, though - they're foul indeed. IIRC someone posted a salient stat about divorce here on FR - no kids, 50% filing by men and women - with kids, 75% filing by women. Hmmmmm...

[Siouxz]

Amen, mercy. People just don't get it anymore. Been married 18 years, and we both know we're in it for the long haul. I have NEVER considered leaving, or fantacized about not being married anymore.

[richardthelionheart]

Agree with you on the 2Nd amendment, however know some religious persons divorced several times so dont know whether the lord helped or hurt the marriage or whether he mattered at all.

[Leroy S. Mort]

Why Dogs are Better than Women

Dogs don't cry. 
Dogs love it when your friends come over. 
Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo. 
Dogs think you sing great. 
A dog's time in the bathroom is just for a quick drink. 
Dogs don't expect you to call when you are running late. The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you. 
Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs. 
Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name. 
Dogs are excited by rough play. 
Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away. 
Dogs understand that farts are funny. 
Dogs love red meat. 
Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair. 
Anyone can get a good looking dog. 
If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it. 
Dogs don't shop. 
Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor. 
A dog's disposition stays the same all month long. 
Dogs never need to examine your relationship. 
A dog's parents never visit. 
Dogs love long car trips. 
Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions. 
Dogs know that all animals smaller than dogs were made to be hunted. 
If a dog gets old and starts to snap at you constantly, you can shoot it. 
Dogs like beer. 
Dogs don't hate their bodies. 
Dogs never buy Kenny G or Michael Bolton albums. 
Dogs never put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood. 
Dogs never criticize. 
Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across. 
Dogs never expect gifts. 
It is legal to keep a dog chained up at your house. 
Dogs don't worry about germs. 
Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you ever had. 
Dogs like to do their snooping outside, not in your wallet, your pockets, or your sock drawer. 
Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives. 
A dog would rather have you buy them a hamburger 
dinner than a lobster one. 
You never have to wait for a dog. They're ready to go 24 hours a day. 
Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, or jewelry. 
Dogs don't borrow your shirts. 
Dogs never want foot-rubs. 
Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public. 
Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk. 
Dogs can't talk. 
Dogs aren't catty. 
Dogs seldom outlive you

[ProudAmericanConservative]

Because our society encourages divorce as just another lifestyle "choice". I also believe it should be harder to marry as well as harder to divorce. You would be surprised by the number of people going into a marriage nowadays, that from the beginning dont have the attitude about it being forever. Its kind of like a leased car, take and drive it for awhile and if you dont like it, you can always give it back after a few years.

[BellyBoy]

A wife, on the other hand, will provide love for a decade or so and then some distance as she prioritizes taking care of kids etc. and feels neglected, because she has less time for herself and when you spent time with the kids to give her a rest spell you are not focusing on her. Ah, the reality of marriage and life. That's the reality of having kids, not marriage. Got married coz i love my wife and want to spend my life with her not come second to the children, she's the same.

[BellyBoy]

sorry...formatting helps

A wife, on the other hand, will provide love for a decade or so and then some distance as she prioritizes taking care of kids etc. and feels neglected, because she has less time for herself and when you spent time with the kids to give her a rest spell you are not focusing on her. Ah, the reality of marriage and life.

That's the reality of having kids, not marriage. Got married coz i love my wife and want to spend my life with her not come second to the children, she's the same.

[BellyBoy]

Yeah Yeah you'll find a way to squeeze religion into everything.