Survey finds 10 partners before marriage 'normal'

Drudge ^ | 10th December 2001 | Ananova

[Don Myers]

Survey finds 10 partners before marriage 'normal'

The majority of young people think it is normal for a person to have at least 10 sexual partners before marriage.

A survey has also found that three in 10 believe it is acceptable for a girl to lose her virginity before the age of 15.

Research carried out by Brook, the youth sex advisory service, says there is a "cultural change" in young people's attitudes towards sex.

Some 64% of men and 54% of women agreed that it was acceptable for a person to sleep with more than 10 partners before getting married.

But the survey, which questioned people aged 17 to 25, also showed that they wanted more information about sex and contraception.

Men admitted to getting most of their knowledge about contraception from TV and magazines, while women learned the most from magazines and their mothers.

Half of all the young women surveyed said they wished that teachers had supplied them with more information about preventing pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.

Brook chief executive Jan Barlow said: "Young people have an increasing number of sexual partners and they are saying that's OK.

"But at the same time they don't have the information and access to services that they need.

"Young people must seek out advice and information in order to make their choices and to understand how to protect themselves both against pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases."

[Aedammair]

Your perception of me does not matter, capisce? People are entitled to hold differing opinions. Debate the matter on its merits instead of insulting those who hold opposite opinions.

[Don Myers]

A person's morality is set by different things. Yes, my sense of morality is based upon Biblical concepts. Why is it better? I believe that the Christian religion is better than a religion based upon The Church Of My Big Toe or some other of the modern religions.

[tortoise]

Guys won't normally marry a "sleep-around."

While true in the broadest sense, people's standards adapt to the populations they live in (and this applies to far more than sexual behavior). My experience suggests that most young people are far less concerned with the sexual history of a person (at least in an absolute sense) than older generations, largely because the pursuit of such discrimination is a pointless exercise for them. For someone twenty years old, a girl that has only slept with five men may have the same social standing as a virgin would to someone who is fifty years old. The baseline has shifted because the population has. I don't care if a woman I meet is a virgin these days largely because they don't exist for all practical purposes.

Less is better, but looking for virgins is a ridiculous metric if you are merely looking for your soulmate. I certainly wouldn't penalize a woman that had sex with a couple men before but was otherwise perfect for me; there are many more important things to worry about.

[marajade]

I can't believe you're a woman and saying those things.

[Don Myers]

"Of course, Britney Spears is a virgin from a good Christian family so the choices may not be all that bad."

Ok, someone. It is now time to put in the flying pigs.

[pcl]

If you want to argue that the left has been projecting their own sense of right and wrong onto the children,

How could the left or anyone else project anything onto your children if you raised them properly? I sense you do not trust your own parenting abilities.

[marajade]

"People are entitled to hold differing opinions."

Then keep your opinions. But you are not furthering the cause of women if those are your opinions.

[Dr. Frank fan]

And [Aedammair shames] women by accepting attitudes such as his [i.e. mine].

I can't believe you're a woman and saying those things.

Can you back up, slow down, and explain rationally to me just what it is I have said on this thread that "shames women" so, and why a woman could never say "those things" I have said? And: What "things", in particular, have I said which, in your opinion, a woman could never say?

It would be truly enlightening. Thanks,

[independentmind]

Don't worry, Dr. Frank, I'm a woman and I agree with you completely. Men and women are different. In many ways, traditional marriage was the great equalizer.

Here are three reasons why men often aren't interested in marrying someone whose "been around":

1) concerns about paternity--men like to know that they are the father.

2) concerns about sexual performance--men don't like being compared to previous partners the woman may have had.

3) concerns about fidelity--how does a man know that a promiscuous woman will remain faithful to him?

On top of the above, men will always have the ability to play the field for many years and then marry someone much younger than they are. Not so for the woman and anyone who says so is out of touch with reality. (or maybe has been married so long, she doesn't remember.)

[Dakotabound]

Hmmm...only 9 more to go.....

Oh, wait, I'm married already. Damn! Blew the last 18 years...

[Don Myers]

Our society has gotten to the point that marriage is no longer respected. That is the fault of our society. We have ceased being a "good" people. We are routinely breaking laws that God has set down, and we generally manage to corrupt whatever good things that we can. If people do not respect marriage, they will live together and consider themselves "married in the eyes of God," whatever that means. If they jump over a rope or sit down and share a marriage meal, I guess that they can be married as long as they say vows befoe God. How many people who just live together do even that?

[tortoise]

If you don't know what feels good or bad, you'll never know that your husband isn't doing much for you. Kind of makes your guys' job easier, huh?

Actually, I think this happens more often than it should. And you are right, it DOES make things easier for me because I have pride in my work and deliver the goods. ;^) It sure is easy for a dedicated man to look like a pro when so many other guys aren't holding up there end of the bargain.

[pcl]

If you don't know what feels good or bad, you'll never know that your husband isn't doing much for you.

You are close to real truth here. Very close. I would change it just a bit to say:

If you do know what feels good or bad you will know that your husband is not doing much for you.

That is what these virgin seekers fear: being compared and found inadequate.

[marajade]

And why wouldn't your three items also be the same criteria for women and the men they choose to marry?

[Don Myers]

"It is touching to see you so concerned about woman's rights."

I will say one thing for you. Your caustic and bitter attitude is a constant.

[Bella_Bru]

2) concerns about sexual performance--men don't like being compared to previous partners the woman may have had.

Honestly, I am glad I have had sexual experience. I am glad my honey has too.

And I think the men that may worry about their performance are the ones that think intercourse is enough to keep the little lady happy.

[Dr. Frank fan]

You are obviously too in touch with reality to be a woman (in marajade's opinion ;). But don't you realize you are supposed to walk around expecting everyone to "mentally rise above" human nature, and when they don't, tell them that they "stink"? < /sarcasm >

[Don Myers]

I wish that we could alter human nature. But that is above my paygrade.

[Aedammair]

You are not the final arbiter of "furtherance", again, Capisce? Your opinion is not dipped in gold and held on high. Yours is no more valid than mine, and no more capable of furtherance than mine. Try to get a handle on the fact that people can disagree with you without being complicit in wrongdoing. Again, debate the merits of your arguement.

[pcl]

It sure is easy for a dedicated man to look like a pro when so many other guys aren't holding up there end of the bargain.

Now that is the good old American competitive spirit!