Posted on 12/09/2001 9:59:41 PM PST by Don Myers
It is mostly the women who come out on the losing side of this equation.
You said:
Which is a double standard.
And, I don't understand what you mean by this.
In fact, faithful Catholics have one of the lowest divorce rates in the country. From Divorce Statistics Collection:
In truth, the National Institute for Healthcare Research says weekly churchgoers throughout the U.S. are less apt to divorce than people who claim "no religion" and those who attend religious services less than once a week. Devout Catholics have especially low divorce rates - apparently because Catholic parishes often take the responsibility of marriage preparation and enrichment more seriously than Protestant churches do. Thus, one of the reasons for the relatively low divorce rates in the Northeast and Midwest is because these regions tend to have a higher concentration of Catholics than do other geographic areas.
In my experience, half the time this is due to the guy(s) the woman was previously with being incompetent at the overall process (which is far more complicated than the mere mechanical act of sex). From the standpoint of the woman, this seems to be a crapshoot; some guys are figured things out quick, others didn't. Obviously, most of these issues can be worked out in a decent long-term relationship (married or otherwise). That said, there do seem to be a small group of women who have mental/psychological issues that are largely independent of anything involving the man.
I have met a couple <30 virgins, but they are very rare (no thanks to me in my younger years).
Indeed, there are numerous studies that support this. One of the best books/studies ever written on human sexual behavior is The Evolution of Desire by David Buss. I highly recommend it for anyone interested in anthropological and sociological aspects of this topic.
I went to the store this afternoon and on one of the magazine covers was an article entitled, How To Tell If He Is Justing Using You For Sex.
If you live in an insane asylum, insanity becomes accepted by even those who are not insane. To me Tip #1 for the girls is, IF the guy is bedding you and you do not have a ring on your finger, it is likely that you are serving the function of an inflatible doll. You are just warmer. Guys treat girls that they are interested in with a slightly different manner than they do the girls with whom they have no interest.
For example, it's the liberal parent syndrome. You know, the type of parents who are of the mindset that you shouldn't say anything negative about sex, that their children will figure it our on their own, or do what's best for them, and that they'll support them if they need birth control, albeit an abortion or whatnot.
I have seen this type of parent. They're the ones who will ask their daughter if she'd like to go on the pill, if she needs condoms, or if she is sexually active, while exclaiming to her that if she gets pregnant that she can go on down to the clinic and get an abortion (aka MURDER her child).
This type of parenting is devastating for any child, and it actually PROMOTES sexual activity, for it is seen as a condonation of sex in the first place. For example, "mom has asked me if I've had sex. She's asked me if I need birth control pills. She's asked me if I need condoms. She's stated that if I get pregnant, all I have to do is get an abortion". This is the mindset.
While teaching your child about the dangers of premarital sex and abstinence is not 100% fool-proof, the success of these methods are lightyears ahead of liberal "sex education" advice and parenting. Teaching middle and high school kids how to put a condom on a banana actually promotes sexual activity. Secondly, passing them out says to the kids, "see, our role models say it's okay to have premarital sex".
When parents, as well as society, embraces abstinence education, the rewards and successes are much more common. Like I said, it is not one hundred percent fool proof, but it has far better results. Of those with a great, abstinence up-bringing, nearly all do not have sex as teens. Those that do lose their virginity are much older, say in their early to mid 20s, and many of them by that time are in good relationships that will secure them a partner for life. Now, I'm not saying that this applies to everyone, but rather a general trend that has lots of validity.
I hope you don't think I was "looking down upon" women by pointing out that a "free love" type of attitude hurts them more than it does men.
Ultimately, the reason for this (so-called) "double standard" is of course that women can get pregnant and men cannot. Therefore, the notion of sex without responsibility serves primarily to allow irresponsible men to use women and then go off on their merry way. Which is precisely what (irresponsible) men want. Men, you see, won the (so-called) Sexual Revolution.
I don't see it as "looking down upon" women to acknowledge this fact. Quite the contrary.
As a woman I would look down upon a man who had had just as many partners if I was looking for the right partner.
Good for you. Best,
So we are back to culturally accepted standards of behavior. Now, it seems to be generally accepted for very young people to have babies even if not married. I know 14/15 year old girls who have babies and are talking about having a second one before they graduate from school. These girls are not married, BTW. So things are changing in our society, and not for the good.
And men can become fathers who pay child support which impacts their new family's financial outlook.
Not if the woman doesn't know the name or address of the man she just shared her "free love" with, because she's so "liberated".
In any event, either way, the woman is now a single mother, the man (if known) lives in a different state and has his paycheck garnished, and who knows how the kid will turn out. This is a pretty bad state of affairs, no?
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