Posted on 11/23/2001 8:57:54 PM PST by Big Guy and Rusty 99
We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-great-granchildren hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some commonsense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden, delusional and other liberal bedwetters.
We hold these truths to be self-evident: That a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require a Bill of No Rights.
ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire the but no one is guaranteeing anything.
ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This count is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc. but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.
ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful and do not expect the manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.
ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional coach potatoes.
ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing we're just not interested in health care.
ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people. You kidnap, rape, intentionally maim or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.
ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possesions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away goods or services from other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big-screen color TV or a life of leisure.
ARTICLE VIII: You do not have the right to not fight in a war. If you have some kind of moral or religious reason, fine but don't just refuse to because you are afraid. Lots of men are afraid, but they got over it. This country was born and nutured on the blood of patriots. They gave their lives so your freedoms could live, do the same and be proud.
ARTICLE IX: You do not have a right to a job. All of us want you to have one and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of educational and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.
ARTICLE X: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that 'you have the right to pursue happiness' -- which by the way, is a lot easier if you unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.
ART I:
The Stile of this confederacry shall be "The United States of America." (approved by Congress on July 9th, 1778).
Peace!
Ratified 12/15/1791
A well regulated Malitia, being neccessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringeed.
It must be worth repeating.
I like it.
Freedom, Wealth, and Peace,
Francis W. Porretto
Visit the Palace Of Reason: http://palaceofreason.com
You have no right to not face the consequences of your right to offend. This means if you call Americans cowards for our war tactics, say that a terrorist attack on America is because of slavery, or say that the president is involved in some tin-foil helmet conspiracy; expect your media forum (whichever forum it is) to be revoked via boycotts and protests. You do not have the right to a media forum either.
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