UPI: Bin Laden Might Be Captured Soon

UnitesStates.com ^ | Nov. 13, 2001 | UPI Wire

[imperator2]

American lawyers will be happy to defend him and stick the taxpayer with a $20 million dollar bill.

[DoveTurnedHawk]

I want him delivered to us alive for a session with a little water, a battery charger and a few questions about his buddies in the US.

But, as far as you I or the world will ever know, he shot himself in the head before capture. As any good coward would do. No martyr, no trial, no more Osama...on to Bahgdad and the next problem on the list.

Agreed. But it'd actually be great if his body was discovered in an extremely compromising, incriminating situation. One that would discredit him with all of the fundamentalist Muslims who'd want to make him out to be some kind of martyr.

DTH

PS: I hear Osama has a secret gay lover...

[MarketR]

But it'd actually be great if his body was discovered in an extremely compromising, incriminating situation.

PS: I hear Osama has a secret gay lover...
Probably not believable enough...now a sheep..hmmmm!

[aruanan]

Shave off his beard and dress him up like Klinger.

[US_MilitaryRules]

I prefer to see obl and 1 eyed, siezure flayling omar, dipped in a Swine blood bath!

[1stFreedom]

This is what we do to Osama. 1. Put him in prision w ten 300lb weightlifters. Supply them with a special KY jelly made from pig fat (guess what for). Run porno on tv's all around the cell -- maybe featuring pigs. Give the weightlifters plenty of Viagra. Then, after about a year, give osama a sex change. Then put him back in the cell. Wait another year. Then... Torture him with a meatgrinder, limb by limb, just a little more slowly every day, gnaw away at them. At the same time, skin him alive little by little while putting salt in the wounds. When he is close to dying, slowly roast him in an oven. When he is closer to death, take him out, baste him with pig oil, and then quarter horse him. I think that outght to make the next idiot who wants to bomb us think twice.

[concerned about politics]

American lawyers will be happy to defend him and stick the taxpayer with a $20 million dollar bill.

The United way is paying legal defence for the others, from donations to the WTC relief fund !!!! No joke.

[Silly]

I've got a great punishment for bin Laden:

GROSS-OUT ALERT. DON'T READ THIS IF YOU DON'T LIKE GETTING GROSSED OUT...

Capture bin Laden and his 10-year-old son alive. Film this, and everything that follows, to show to his disciples back home:
1. First, force bin Laden to cook large amounts of pork, and then force-feed his son this pork over a period of two days.
2. Next, force bin Laden to kill his own son with a box-cutter to the neck. Before the son dies, someone will explain to him that his dad is a monster and lied to him, and this is all a punishment.
3. Then, bin Laden must string up his son, and drain and drink the blood.
4. Remember that bin Laden is reported to be a vegetarian: He then must carve out his son's stomach and intestines, now plump with pork, fry these organs up and EAT THEM. Tape his mouth shut so he can't vomit it up.
5. Then torture him for a year, allowing only enough healing to ensure he does not die.
BIN LADEN'S LAST 24 HOURS ON EARTH
6. His last meal will be his own unwashed sexual organs, cut off and fed to him raw by women.
7. After this meal, throw him out of an airplane and tape record his screams. But save him with a parachute or bungee cord so he does not die.
8. Lastly, bury bin Laden alive, forcing him to listen to his own tape-recorded screams of pain.

Who said this story won't have a happy ending?

Not being,

[golas]

I say use Bin Laden's skull as a candy dish.

It'd be all the rage in the West Bank and Gaza...

[marshmallow]

UPI: Bin Laden Might Be Captured Soon.

Love the word "might".

This is news?

[hchutch]

I want him alive. I want to know who funded him, where he has the cells, and I do not care if we force the information out of him. What he knows is important.

Once Osama has been pumped dry (even if we force him to talk), then stuff a ham sandwich down his mouth and leave his corpse in a ditch somewhere.

[Marysecretary]

You don't think he'd talk do you? Nope. You'd have quite a time getting anything from Usama. He'd welcome becoming a martyr for his faith and his cause. He ain't talkin'.

[patrioteagle911]

even if he's in a jail, he will still be a martyr for these "radical" people. I am not sure he will be taken alive....

[Oldeconomybuyer]

"...said a western diplomatic source in Islamabad."

I suspect this is bad journalism, but hope the story line becomes reality.

[stanz]

I would love to see him get what he deserves in the general population at Leavenworth, but that will never happen. We are too humane- - -even with murdering scum terrorists.

[jslade]

[Lou L]

"That's Saddam's Christmas present you're talking about!! Boys, you put Osama's head back in the box where it belongs right now and come in for dinner..."

LOL!

Wouldn't that be hilarious to actually send his head, in a box, to Saddam? Kinda like the dead horse in "The Godfather!"

[stanz]

You're probably right. He has said he will not allow himself to be taken alive. Let's see.

[TheRedSoxWinThePennant]

CAPTURE IS NOT IN MY VOCABULARY