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To: PatrickHenry
I myself tried to defy the law of gravity the other day, using a bananna-peal device. Alas, just as I had slipped the bonds of gravity, I fell on my tush. But this negative result will not discourage me.

What we need is a legislative, not scientific, approach to the problem. An illustrative story, the source of which excapes me, follows:

Once upon a time, in a Kingdom far-far-away (or something like that) there was a King who felt the pain of his people having to carry the burdens of themselves and their possessions about. He asked his science adviser: "Why do the people suffer so?" The adviser replied: "It is due to the Law of Gravity, Your Immenseness."

And so the King was inspired to obtain the consent of the his parliament for a Proclamation to Repeal the Law of Gravity. And having obtained said consent, the King declared a great Holiday throughout his Kingdom, on which he would sign the Proclamation into law, repealing the Law of Gravity, and forever more relieving the burden of his subjects from having to bear the weight of objects or their bodies. And all the loyal subjects gathered around the Royal Castle as the King prepared to sign the proclamation into law. As the Royal Clock chimed high noon, the King affixed his signature to the proclamation, and a shout of joy went up from the throng.....

..... whereupon everyone and everything not attached firmly to the earth was instantly flung off into space, including the King, his subjects, cows, horses, and even the air, for in his zeal to alleviate the burdens of his people, the King had overlooked the necessity of Repealing the Law of Inertia along with the Law of Gravity.

I fully expect NASA's experiments to be just about as successful as a legislative approach would be to the anti-gravity problem.

63 posted on 10/10/2001 2:26:42 PM PDT by longshadow
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To: longshadow
After a lifetime of work, my calculations reveal that a fat person suffers from gravity more than a thin person. The conclusion is obvious. Gravity isn't the problem; it's weight! If we all go on a diet, we can conquer gravity! I gladly donate the royalties from my discovery to the Clinton defense fund.
76 posted on 10/10/2001 3:21:23 PM PDT by PatrickHenry
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