[chickenlips]

To all Californians and New Yorkers:

WARNING WARNING : AVOID FLORIDA!

It's sucks in every way. There are huge snakes, giant alligators, sharks, mosquitoes the size of dive bombers, roaches the size of Winnebagos, and they're all very mean and hungry. Even the minorities are WHITE SUPREMACISTS, you can't say “gay” and if you do you are hunted down by crazed cis “Florida men”. 50% of the populace dies from hurricanes, disease and famine annually. There is no running water, you have to drink from puddles. Crime is high and there are cannibals.

Even though the last sentence may remind you of your current home state, for your own good STAY AWAY!

[Lizavetta]

Hey, you left out the godawful humidity, ravenous fire ants, homeowners insurance that costs $10,000 a month, sheriffs who remind their constituents of the castle doctrine and encourage homeowners to shoot home invasion perps (looking at you, Grady Judd).

We also have the worst governor ever. Actually governs like a conservative, which means he hates nonwhites, libs, commies, and Jehovah's Witnesses.

Don't come here. You'll hate it.

[Eleutheria5]

“...there are cannibals.”

“Burp. That’s what we said after eating Joe’s uncle. He was nowhere near Africa. We ate him in Orlando. Now we regularly prey in Disney theme park patrons. Happiest place on earth. Heh.”

[frank ballenger]

Not a joke, but there was an article in the Sunday Detroit Free Press in 1986 where a woman from Michigan moved to Florida and hated it. Her worse point: A live snake crawled up from the water in the toilet at home. Authorities said it had a simple explanation about the relative water levels outside and inside and how snakes can move.🐍🚽

That should scare off the invading Leftists.