My goodness! Such suffering. I’m sorry about your sister
Most older people stay with bad doctors because they don’t want to be messed with. My husband is like that. I don’t like doctors that want to push meds on me. I prefer to go if I’m sick and I’m rarely sick. My mom went to an old quack doctor for years because he kept her in pain meds.
I want a doctor to listen to my heart and lungs and treat me if I’m sick. If they find something I will get more opinions.
I fully understand how you feel about doctors. My own mother never saw a doctor after she had me in 1947. It wasn't until she got very ill in the late 60's, that she finally went to see one, and he diagnosed her with Lupus, which they successfully treated. Back when she was first diagnosed, Lupus was a fairly new, recognized disease. They did all kinds of tests, and until she was diagnosed, told her the problem was in her head.
I'm also of the type that doesn't run to the doctor immediately. I waited three days to go to the emergency room, not realizing my bowel had perforated, and that the horrible pains I had in my side weren't from the antibiotic I had been put on for a bladder infection the same day the pains began in my left side. That night I woke up at midnight, and got sick to my stomach. The pain had subsided, and I was finally able to get to sleep. I thought it was just an adverse reaction to the pill, and called the doctor the next day about it. They said it sounded like a reaction, and would order me something else. After the first day, I had no pain, just a little tenderness in my lower abdomen. Then on the third night, I was laying in bed, and thought, what if it wasn't an adverse reaction to the drug? I figured that I'd go to my local hospital five minutes away, to have it checked out. If it was just a reaction, I'd be home in two hours, but at least I'd know it wasn't something more serious. So I got up at 2 a.m., got dressed, and drove myself to the hospital, and I ended up spending 7 days in the hospital. I've always wondered if one of my family members that had passed, was looking over me, and put that thought into my head that night, because if I'd left it untreated, I could have died of Peritonitis.
I've also suffered broken wrists and a fractured knee in the past, but didn't bother going to the ER for them. I simply waited several days to see it they got any better, and if they didn't, I called the Orthopedic office at the health clinic I go to. I am rather fortunate, that I do have a high pain threshold. But I really think it's the fact that my mother was not a big fan of doctors, and never went, and as a young kid, that made an impression of me. I grew up tough like my mother. My sister that died of lung cancer said she didn't like going to the doctor either, because every time she did go, he always found something wrong with her. But in her case, she should have found a decent doctor, that would have actually diagnosed her with high blood pressure, and been properly treated for it in the beginning. She likely would have died of lung cancer anyway, but perhaps she wouldn't have ended up with aneurysms either.