Now I'm raising my daughter "My house, my rules."
Yes, he’s the asshole, but he’s the GOOD kind of asshole. Not picking fights or being an a-hole for the hell of it, but just letting his wayward daughter know what the rest of the family is likely thinking. She should be humble enough to look after the 4-year-old for a few hours a week.
Made it clear to mine: at 18 you are either working full time or in school, and your presence under my roof will be of a very temporary nature.
People spend 18 years coddling them and meeting their every want then wonder why they feel entitled and won’t leave or start a life.
What saddens me if the mental health of the four year old. She must be grieving losing a Mom. Moves now to a family that is “fighting” over who will “watch” her. Children, even at that young an age, are fully aware if they are causing problems or if they are loved/wanted. The 19 year old is a selfish, selfish, horrible girl. I am glad she is embracing “child free” because she has no sympathy or empathy towards a little child. The father, IMHO, has raised a spoiled, self centered girl... I hope he and his wife do better with their niece.
I was unemployed for three weeks after I got out of the Army. Once I got a job, I started paying my parents rent till I got an apartment.