Posted on 08/13/2019 12:53:26 PM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
Wow. Just. Wow.
You sound like a Lefty. Why don't you advocate for ridding society of what you call "tards"?
Well, you keep thinking that.
A wedding? I agree.
But church is a place a child should be. On that, we disagree.
Society can take care of itself.
As a uncle of a special needs child, I think this is overblown. I’m not sure who’s at fault, however, disabled kids should be able to go to dinner with their family. Outback is not exactly a high end steak house, but Outback and the family should be able to discuss this PRIVATELY!!
I am less so; because we trained our child and I know it can be done. We prepared for any restaurant excursion by making sure he was not so ravenous that a slow waiter would have pushed him over the edge; we took an entire tote bag of soft and quiet toys and soft books which we switched out one at a time the moment he got bored, and seated him with his back to the crowd whenever possible. We also explained clearly and simply what behavior we preferred and rewarded him with praise and smiles for good behavior. As he got older, quiet word games and drawing with soft pencils were favorite pastimes while waiting in public.
Importantly, if he made noise, we took him out of the room until he calmed down; we and did not inflict it on others, especially when traveling far from home.
Especially with music performances, we used a pacifier, pinned to his clothing so there would be no dropping or searching. (No, the pacifiers didn't misalign his teeth nor the habit persist into adolescence.) He was so well trained that he was able to sit quietly through an entire classical guitar performance in the music academy hall at age 3 -1/2, with the aid of a pacifier. He asked for and started classical music lessons at age 6.
Children tend to do what is expected of them if they are loved and encouraged, but also disciplined clearly and fairly. Parenting is a lot of disciplined work; but if you do the work and make it fun, good results become evident.
Loud kids don’t bother me. As my dad used to say “That’s not loud. A Banzai attack is loud. Incoming artillery is loud”
God bless you, Yaelle for the care and consideration you have shown-my 1st job after college was as a case worker for mentally retarded adults-my clients were all medium-to-high functioning and many had Down Syndrome-they were some of the nicest and most decent people I’ve known. Myself and my co-workers often brought clients from their apartments to spend holidays at our homes with our families because their own families could not be bothered with their less-than-perfect relatives and didn’t want to be seen with them. I worked there at MHMR for almost 8 years until going to work in the private sector as a case manager-and I still consider that 1st job at MHMR my favorite...
That experience is likely why it annoys me to hear someone call a person they disagree with “retard”, “retarded” etc-mental retardation is a disability-it is neither a chosen behavior, nor are retarded people circus freaks-it does not speak well of us here at FR to use retard, etc as a slur-you are disparaging people with that disability by using that as an insult-no better than the “N” word, in my opinion...
It’s about common sense. In BOTH cases
In ALL CASES. What about a child without feet placed ON the table so he can feed HIMSELF??
Common sense tells me to put the child in a chair and feed him yourself. C’mon
Actually, I think “retard “ is worse then the “N” word-at least that slur is only racial-where “retard” is a slur on that person’s humanity and being...
Do you let them shriek,yell or run about during the prayers, the sermon, the communion, or the wedding vows? If so, you are being disrespectful not only of those who are there to worship, but also of the Lord's house. At a wedding, the hosts have paid big bucks to host you and others want to be able to hear what one hopes is a once-in-a-lifetime ceremony that may also be videotaped. Trust me, few people in this world think other people's disruptive kids are adorable.
Something similar happened to us at Red Lobster. They sat us all the way in the back, near the lavatories, where there was a constant stream of people. There were other open booths in the central area. OK, we didn't like it but thought it was just bad luck of the draw. Maybe they were trying to even out the load on the waiters.
Next time, we were seated one booth up - still a lousy setting. I didn't want to make a scene at the restaurant, so I complained on YELP about seating senior citizens out of sight of the younger crowd. I got a call from the manager who claimed that wasn't the case and offered a free meal. We turned it down and said to just stop the "non-existent" practice.
We go there once a month because of their "Endless Shrimp" Mondays and they lose money on me - I have no shame.
The next time we went, I was on Full Alert, but the sweet young thing gave us a window booth in the center section.
Just to play safe, I now point out the booth we want when it looks like we're being herded to the back. Always get in the center section now. Would go back if it wasn't for those damned Scampi Shrimp.
Thank you for your lovely and true post. My sons are wonderful human beings and I am so glad they are kind and decent - not like some of the “perfect” people around here.
The word “suffer” in the King James translation did not mean to inflict emotional or physical distress. It meant “allow”, or even “put up with” (having to tote them around to hear the Master); but it did not mean, “allow them to make everyone around them suffer from their bad behavior.”
Well, I do.
The idea that every business has to accommodate every abnormal person at the expense of normal people is absurd. I think of this every time I see a snowflake with a service animal at the airport of in a restaurant. I think of it when peanuts and peanut butter are treated as near lethal weapons. I think of it when some fat slob must be accommodated in a coach seat and to hell with the people next to him/her who paid for a full seat.
Restaurants, especially ones with liquor licenses, are places where most people expect to relax; not to put up with ill-behaved children (or adults). (And yes, I've taken my kids and grandkids to restaurants, but I was always prepared to take them out if I had ANY sense that they might be disturbing others.)
ML/NJ
All kidding or (not) aside, it is a very sensitive issue, one I
have 20 years of experience with - raising an non verbal
severely autistic child.
I see and understand both sides very clearly - people with handicapped kids want to bring their special needs kids everywhere for socialization -to help them cope adapt and enjoy as much family time as possible, others don’t want to deal with the yelling yelping quacking roaring that are attempts to communicate, as well as other repetitive behaviors that are strange and hard to understand and can scare the bejesus or even endanger other little ones as during a meltdown, (which can occur anywhere)
My son from heredity/medication has grown from toddler to lineman size, and food is extremely important to him. His public bellowing if triggered could intimidate most servers and diners and we have managed it like this: In most cases home cooking (our grilling/cooking is terrific) and takeout/delivery/drive thru works just fine, but he can also, due to his past experience being taken to restaurants with his special Ed class and the family, generally, regulate himself enough to enjoy sitting for an extended meal- we are planning a day trip to a nearby seafood shack this week weather permitting where we a group of 5-6 will sit outdoors at our own table, he will stuff himself, eating neatly and enjoy every minute. If someone susses that he’s disabled no big deal, there’ll be no or limited polite interaction with others and if he acts up we can exit rapidly, everyone deserves to eat their meals peacefully.
You gotta look it this way - disabled kids have a lifetime of mental and/or physical struggles in store, it is very sad that so many will never be able live a life filled with the typical milestones most of us are fortunate to realize- for them a simple pleasure like dining out, should be indulged but I agree never infringing on others. There’s plenty of lousy parents of normal
kids who allow them to run amok, kick, scream, throw stuff, etc. in any public place (stores seem to have ditched the old no kids under 13 rules) and they should respect others space as well
You are welcome-and thank you for accepting your sons the way God made them, loving them and bringing them up to be kind and decent people-parents like you made my job a happy one...
My biggest pet peeve is customers using their cell phones and including everyone around them in the conversation... For particular cultures, talking at the normal “shouting” level while on the cell phone makes it even worse...
I have been in restaurants and stores when kids even those without disabilities act up. My 3 year old granddaughter recently had a meltdown where all we could do was get her into her car seat and take her home. She screamed and whined until she finally fell asleep from exhaustion. I wish parents would use some judgement. If their kid is prone to acting up please don’t take them to a restaurant. If the kid acts up...take them out. If they are in meltdown nothing is going to calm them. Please be courteous to the other patrons.
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