When mom and pop’s values suck or are even warped, BAD things can happen.
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This is true. Yet:
what do you say when conservative parents who never once slacked off on their kids and blessed them with love, discipline,encouragement, a close extended family,examples of faith, frugality, humility, a religious education and examples of service wake up one day to a gay child and another child who who is too liberal to leave Seattle (Austin, Portland, wherever) and unable to commit to any other human being. The parents are shellshocked and blame themselves, but it is the culture.
Who do you blame when the conventional, hardworking,self-educated and successful parents who rarely even had ibuprofen in the house, are ground down by the child who cannot go a day without drugs, ends up hospitalized and in rehab? The parents are there with tough love and forgiveness, but by then, the child has a cascade of complications and interactions, ends up with a drug combo syndrome and is now disabled.
The accepted, supported,child of who would rather lie and hack their grades than apply their own well-nurtured gifts?
The child who would rather abuse toddlers than take a risk and face rejection from peers?
Some of these examples are current adult children of now elderly, conventional traditionalists. Some are memories from 60 years ago. Some are millennials.
Most of these examples I know from finding out about peers, way back in the conservative day. Some are current and include Gen-Xer children in their 40s & 50s. One is personal painful experience. One is totally true of 2 different families, neither of whom had anything wack in their lives, ever. All these children were blessed. One is even a staunch political conservative.
All of these parents fought the culture. In the end, the culture won. None of the examples turned into mass murderers. I believe that takes a confluence of events and influences and is more prevalent now, but just because they didn’t shoot up masses of people doesn’t mean they couldn’t have.
Video games? Violent, abusive music? Misplaced *love* and *support* from supposed mentors with their own agenda? Material temptation? You can find examples of good people with ruined children as far back as the Bible.
And what do you say to the children of parents who were cons, drunks, druggies, absent, unfaithful, demanding and manipulative who, none-the-less overcame a rotten hand to become fine human beings despite the same culture?
There are weak humans. There is a manipulative culture hell-bent on co-option and destruction for political ends. There are those exposed early to this rot who reject it and heal themselves enough to gain the strength to resist. Others just drown in the maelstrom.
There are millions of stories and it is always shocking when they involve the people who followed the old, foundational rules and still lost the fight. It’s been going on for millennia.
Don’t be so quick to blame what went on inside the house. Some call it Leviathan or Satan. I call it the culture and it is implacable.
Good post and I NEVER said I was quick to blame them.
In fact i chose my words carefully.
You are Underestimating the impact parents have.
This board can’t have it both ways.
Ad neither can you. I’m sorry.
I see your name.
Maybe you need a little more reforming :)
Have a great one
You are absolutely right. The sins of the children should not be visited upon the parents. Dear Abby wrote a wonderful column about this. She titled it: “Rotten Children Have Only Themselves to Blame “.