I’ve been heavily involved in community theater for more than 30 years now. My experiences mirror your own.
Or as one (straight) director I worked with back in the 1980s put it: “There are two kinds of gays. There are the ones who are cool about it. And then there’s the other kind.”
tell me about it.
once one “guy” danced around the office like a ballerina singing “Dancing Queen”
it was only for about 10 seconds
And 10 seconds alone with him is all i would have needed.