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Obama's Secret Letter to his Co-Conspirators
Now my co-conspirators, we are close to total victory now.
The 19th century Barbary pirates of Tripoli had it all wrong.
It's foolish to attack the Judeo-Christian infidels with pirates and armies.
The secret is very simple: steadily poison the roots of their society from within.
I'm amazed at how much destruction we've achieved in only seven years.
We stirred up racial division; made people question the authority of laws and police.
We weakened the military too: undermined their morale, infrastructure, and training.
We pushed out the good generals and promoted the politically correct ones.
We even convinced Wall Street to finance our revolution.
In turn, we created a green-industrial complex and taxpayer bailouts for their mistakes.
We forged pacts with the Silicon Valley and Redmond techies to spy on voters 24/7.
Our regulations have dealt a blow to entrepreneurs -- anyone wanting to build things on their own.
They even believed my Davos speech where I said Global Warming is the biggest world threat!
Ha! The fools don't even question such idiocy!
But our best tactic of all was to corrupt the voters themselves.
With free handouts, we made a large block of them dependent on government.
And we doubled the cost of private health care to destroy it.
Sure, people grumbled at first, when they couldn't keep their family doctor.
Ha! That was just one of a thousand schemes we used to deceive them.
Opening the border wide to third world people also worked very well for us.
By killing jobs, we brought the middle class to its knees. We own them now.
Surprisingly, we encountered very little resistance from the educated ones.
The liberal arts colleges did a great job in socialist indoctrination.
That was a bonus -- I can't claim any credit for it!
In turn, the socialist-brainwashed journalists quickly fell into line.
The corrupt politicians were even easier to persuade with perks and kickbacks.
Soon, the massive debt we've run up will cause the nation to implode like Greece.
Capitalism is on the verge of collapse thanks to our highly effective insurgency.
Yes, you should be so proud of our silent revolution to destroy the infidels.
But recently I've become quite concerned...
A few stubborn patriots are still clinging to their guns, religion, and freedom.
And an intrepid leader has emerged who aims to destroy our plans.
He loudly proclaims he will... Make America Great Again!
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