Urgent Alert; DC area.
SLC headquarters has issued this warning/watch to all of USA local temples and stakehouses.
Please inform all of your faithful LDS members to be on the alert of rampaging hordes of free range Gov't Workers; who are being driven MAD! from hunger.
If one of them finds out above your food storage cache; they'll be on you like a new episode of the Walking Dead!
Take all means necessary to protect what is yours.
From the Office of the Living Prophet®
Salt Lake City
PS: you may want to take advantage of any free food before it runs out, to freshen up YOUR supplies. Just be careful out there!
President Russell M. Nelson