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Republicans, beware. The tables will turn. - (Garrison Keillor BARF)
Chicago Tribune ^ | June20, 2017 | Garrison Keillor

Posted on 06/22/2017 12:04:45 PM PDT by re_tail20

I am a registered liberal who mostly toes the party line but I am not devoted to the idea of big government. I loathe the law in New York state requiring gas pump nozzles to not latch. This means that I must stand beside my vehicle, holding the nozzle lever open, instead of latching it and walking into the gas station to use the john which, if you're an older male and hear gushing liquid, you feel a powerful urge to do, so thanks to legislative over-regulation, I am on the verge of humiliating myself.

Liberals believe in universal suffrage, but I don't think the right to vote should be extended to people walking around with wires going into their ears. If you need to walk through the world in a state of stupefaction, you don't belong in a democracy. The ballot should belong to people who pay attention.

I have other strong conservative tendencies: I accept limitations as inevitable, even sometimes futility. I once gave a very funny speech in the chapel of an Ivy League college and my voice went ricocheting around the Gothic arches and came back to me 15 seconds later and it was incomprehensible, even to me whose voice it was. I might as well have been speaking Navajo. Nobody laughed. I did not complain to authorities. I was amused. Stuff happens.

Life is unfair. The National Endowment for the Arts bestows pots of gold on poets, chickenfeed on humorists, and so what? The federal government is responsible for the announcement in airports warning you to report to authorities any stranger who asks you to carry an object aboard an aircraft. It's like telling people to report any sightings of unicorns. But who cares? Not I.

All around Washington stand handsome temples housing the ABA,...

(Excerpt) Read more at chicagotribune.com ...


TOPICS: Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: garrisonkeillor; minnesota; npr; pbs
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To: re_tail20

Gary Edward “Garrison” Keillor is an American author, storyteller, humorist, voice actor, and radio personality. He is best known as the creator of the Minnesota Public Radio show A Prairie Home Companion, which he hosted from 1974 to 2016

No wonder I didn’t know who he was. Another nobody.


21 posted on 06/22/2017 12:16:48 PM PDT by McGruff (If you tell a lie and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it.)
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To: re_tail20

Not unless the Dems wise up and purge themselves of the wack job freaks like Keilor, Moore, Peloie etc and return to sanity.


22 posted on 06/22/2017 12:17:43 PM PDT by MNJohnnie ("The political class is a bureaucracy designed to perpetuate itself" Rush Limbaugh)
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To: re_tail20

Garrison Keiller just admitted he’s not smart enough to use the vehicles gas cap to keep the pump flowing.


23 posted on 06/22/2017 12:19:16 PM PDT by Smellin Salt
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To: re_tail20

Garrison Keiller just admitted he’s not smart enough to use the vehicles gas cap to keep the pump flowing.


24 posted on 06/22/2017 12:19:20 PM PDT by Smellin Salt
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To: re_tail20
The ballot should belong to people who pay attention.

The ballot should belong to people who pay taxes...................

25 posted on 06/22/2017 12:19:51 PM PDT by Red Badger (Unless you eat The Bread of Life, you are toast!.......................)
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To: re_tail20
We liberals will regain power by the simple method of redistricting. We will incorporate the Dakotas, Montana, Idaho, Wyoming, and Utah into California, and usher in a hundred years of progressivism. What goes around comes around. Be wise.

That wouldn't do it. It might even work to our advantage...............

26 posted on 06/22/2017 12:24:46 PM PDT by Red Badger (Unless you eat The Bread of Life, you are toast!.......................)
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To: re_tail20

GEEEEZ!! Garrison Keillor just Being Garrison Keillor! Boring!


27 posted on 06/22/2017 12:26:17 PM PDT by Fiddlstix (Warning! This Is A Subliminal Tagline! Read it at your own risk!(Presented by TagLines R US))
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To: McGruff

His Lake Wobegone books are funny..................


28 posted on 06/22/2017 12:26:27 PM PDT by Red Badger (Unless you eat The Bread of Life, you are toast!.......................)
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To: Kevin in California

He’s officially enrolled for future terms at the State Hospital for the Hopelessly Insane.


29 posted on 06/22/2017 12:27:26 PM PDT by DPMD
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To: re_tail20

I must admit I LOVE LOVE LOVE listening to “Prairie Home Companion” I would buy a recording of all seasons if I could, and probably listen to nothing else.

And Keillor is one of those liberals just stupid enough to miss how much of a conservative he is, and refusing to accept that- he works to defeat his own purpose. He complains that humorists don’t get more money from the government... The government he loves does not satisfy him?

His first few paragraphs explain exactly why you don’t want big government, because it is not just gas pumps they stick their nose into, but it is EVERYTHING.

You can read history on Germans who were excited about Hitler and the thought of National Socialism, and how horrified they were at the reality of it.

I drive from NY to Ohio every week, and I wait until I get to Ohio just for the pleasure of not having to stand there dancing around for 4 minutes while I fill my tank (listening to it gush, gush, gush), and then rushing to the bathroom.

All you snowflakes who are horrified at that- The law is that all pumps are visible to the attendant and they have an emergency cut off switches all over, and if you are one of the millions who fill their tank every day, you know the technology works.


30 posted on 06/22/2017 12:27:50 PM PDT by Mr. K (***THERE IS NO CONSEQUENCE OF REPEALING OBAMACARE THAT IS WORSE THAN OBAMACARE ITSELF***)
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To: re_tail20
Registered Zombie Image result for garrison keillor
31 posted on 06/22/2017 12:27:53 PM PDT by Leep (Less talk more ACTiON!)
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To: re_tail20

What he fails to note is that we are in a period wherein the tables have turned on his guys and his fantasies.


32 posted on 06/22/2017 12:28:15 PM PDT by DPMD
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Yeah yeah yeah-we know the demonrats will be back with even more ridiculous ideas-they are like cockroaches....,


33 posted on 06/22/2017 12:30:50 PM PDT by TnTnTn
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To: Red Badger

I liked the Guy Noirs with Pete but that’s about it for GK.


34 posted on 06/22/2017 12:32:31 PM PDT by wally_bert (I didn't get where I am today by selling ice cream tasting of bookends, pumice stone & West Germany)
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To: re_tail20

Faggot says what? ...


35 posted on 06/22/2017 12:32:40 PM PDT by VRWC For Truth (FREEP U, Schmucky O'Putz!)
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To: re_tail20

Bor-ing...was there supposed to be some humor in article written by the self proffessed “humorist?”


36 posted on 06/22/2017 12:34:34 PM PDT by subterfuge (Build the damn wall...)
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To: re_tail20

This guy lives at Lake Woebehere. Hope he can swim.


37 posted on 06/22/2017 12:35:11 PM PDT by justa-hairyape (The user name is sarcastic. Although at times it may not appear that way.)
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To: BenLurkin

He might as well be....woe-beee-gone.


38 posted on 06/22/2017 12:37:06 PM PDT by rusureitflies? (Not much to say, yet.)
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To: re_tail20

Pathetic


39 posted on 06/22/2017 12:39:47 PM PDT by nikos1121 (Rudy Guiuliani for Head of FBI)
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To: wally_bert

It’s been a quiet week in Lake Wobegone.....................


40 posted on 06/22/2017 12:40:12 PM PDT by Red Badger (Unless you eat The Bread of Life, you are toast!.......................)
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