Baby boomers are downsizing — and the kids won’t take the family heirlooms

Boston Globe ^ | 04 June 2017 | Beth Teitell

[wbill]

Yep. I stepped firmly on my in-law's feet when I turned down a houseful of used furniture. Some of it was OK, most of it had molded/mildewed.

"Why would you not want this? It's perfectly good!!", they asked. "A little beach, a little cleanup...."

"Why WOULD I want it? I have a houseful of my own furniture!", was my reply. There were a couple of handmade pieces from a great grandfather. I was careful to get those. Otherwise, sure, it was great furniture, but I have my own.

Pictures? Sure - if we knew who the people were. But albums and albums filled with pics of the ocean from Aunt Martha's vacation to Tahiti in 1960, or photos of a long-forgotten family dog? Who cares. Let it go.... And don't get me started on three or four kitchens worth of old cookbooks and pots and pans and Tupperware and half-complete silverware sets and... We kept Grandma's cookbook (the one with all of the recipes in her own handwriting...that's a treasure). Otherwise? Trash it. I think that a lot got donated to a relief agency that worked with people who'd recently been burned out of their apartments. If you've got zilch, then free service for 8, with a short handful of pieces missing, or an old TV set, is great stuff.

I'm persona non grata right now. Oh well.

[Army Air Corps]

Yes, they are.

[TADSLOS]

I feel your pain, FRiend. Our house is chocked full of “trinkets” of all types and sizes. I swear my wife is part crow. She keeps collecting bright shiny baubles for the nest. I have attempted to explain the laws of space and volume to her to no avail.

[Drew68]

Sell it on eBay and take a vacation on the proceeds!

I don't think this stuff is as valuable as it used to be. That's part of the problem. The demographic who find value in china, crystal, flatware and hummel figurines are fewer in number with each passing year.

[wbill]

I went through several albums of photos with my grandmother before she passed. Who's Who, and Where Was That.

Time well spent, it's an excellent family history.

But without that.... It's a book filled with pictures of people who no one knows anymore. Just fought that fight with my in-laws.

[Lorianne]

There is no way I can take even 1/4 of the stuff my parents have accumulated. It would overwhelm me. Neither can my siblings take their share.

There are one or two things I’d welcome but the rest will have to go to an estate sale or to charity. There is just too much STUFF.

Honestly, I’d rather have the money that bought all that stuff, or I’d rather they spent it on cruises and trips or something ... but that was their decision, their money. The vast majority of it was acquired after the kids left home. I often think they accumulated the stuff to compensate for an empty house.

[CivilWarBrewing]

Historically and traditionally, it was the female offspring who took possession of family photos, paintings, parent's high school yearbooks and other trinkets..

Now that females have traded in their maternal instinct and desire to maintain heirlooms for passing down to future generations, the family history GOES DOWN THE TUBES.

FEMINISM DESTROYED FEMALES. Who are the keepers of the family heirlooms now? THROW IT ALL IN TRASH, BECAUSE THE GIRLS HAVE THEIR CAREERS AS THEIR #1 PRIORITY!!!

FEMINISM DESTROYED HEIRLOOMS!

[angcat]

What about sentimental value. I would definitely take my mothers things when the time comes in 100 years :0)

[American Quilter]

Inherited pieces used to be valued because most people had so few possessions. Now everyone has so many that there’s no room for the previous generation’s precious belongings.

[EDINVA]

I feel very fortunate that my three now adult children appreciate the family heirlooms. Daughter uses the fine china/crystal/silver a few times a year ... certainly not as frequently as the more modern stuff, but come holidays and special occasions they love to drag out the good stuff.

[Drew68]

Historically and traditionally, it was the female offspring who took possession of family photos, paintings, parent's high school yearbooks and other trinkets.

My parents had no female offspring. Just three sons. And we didn't want any of this stuff.

[Jagdgewehr]

I'm sure that's a factor. I know several ladies (Gen X types) in So. California making a good amount of money selling stuff other folks collected over the years. Although, I question what sometimes passes for "vintage." Nonetheless, what some consider used, old, clutter or plain ol' junk, others may see it as collectable...even treasure.

[Red Badger]

Here’s what to do with old photos:

SCAN THEM INTO YOUR COMPUTER THEN POST THEM ON FACEBOOK, MYSPACE, PHOTOBUCKET, INSTAGRAM, OR ANY OTHER SOCIAL NETWORKING SITE.

LET THE DOT COM BILLIONAIRES STORE YOUR STUFF. FREE!......................

[Mr. Douglas]

I’m 63. My parents are in their late 80’s and both still alive. I’ve noticed an odd phenomenon with my mother. The older she gets the more important old photos and saving old stuff becomes. With me it is the opposite. I find myself severing myself from the past as i age.

I take ownership of this life being a very temporary thing, followed by something much more “real”. There is no point in looking back other than to learn.

[kosciusko51]

Not to mention that families were bigger in the past, and that meant inheriting items were split among many, with each one having space for a smaller amount of items.

With smaller families, there is more for each sibling to inherit, but they don’t have the room for it.

I think of some of my own keepsakes that I have now, that are still in boxes. I doubt my daughters will want to keep more than a few, if any.

[EDINVA]

I saw a story on a fB newsfeed today about a “vintage” 1988 wedding gown. Seriously????

[sickoflibs]

RE:”I have a lot of mementos from my grandmother that my mother foisted on me,” said Fine, 59. She dutifully stored them for three decades, in boxes she never opened, and while she doesn’t expect her daughter to take them, she’s now facing a quandary.
“How can you take these things to a consignment shop?” she asked. “It’s almost like a burden that we carry with us through life. Sometimes I wish we had less connection to our possessions”

In boxes she never opened...
Maybe some dead bodies in them.

[kosciusko51]

I’m a bit younger than you, but I, too, have similar thoughts. But I still cling to a few keepsakes that remind me of good times.

[wbill]

I can't argue with you about Feminism. But IMO, there are heirlooms, and there are heirlooms.

The family album, that has pictures neatly labeled of all the relatives? Heirloom. The Quilt that Great-Grandma made, and Grandma painstakingly maintained and repaired? Heirloom. The Hand-hewn rocking chair that Great-Grandpa made, along with his antique tool set? Definitely an heirloom.

But the stack of "collectible" plates bought off late-night TV for $9.95 each (only if you act now...) or the "So-and-So Mint Special Figurine Dust-Attractor Collection"? Not so much.

I think that, more than anything, "heirlooms" are getting replaced with "Things". At least, that's what I've seen from parts of my family when people pass.

[sheana]

A couple of years ago one of my friends husbands died. I gave her the.....it’s just stuff and no one wants it lecture. Sh got rid of a lot but then once moved piled it up again.
Another friends husband died in December and I’ve been doing the same thing with her. No one wants it, get rid of it. It’s just stuff.

I didn’t know I could charge for it though. Lol