HANNITY & COLMES - FIVE MONTHS FROM NOWCOLMES: Hello and welcome to Hannity & Colmes. Tonight, we will be discussing the new allegations against Bill Clinton and whether a new impeachment inquiry should begin.
HANNITY: Our guests include Former Lieutenant Governor of New York Betsy McCaughy Ross, FOX Contributor Eleanor Clift, Former Presidential Candidate Alan Keyes, Democratic Spokesman Victor Kamber, and syndicated columnist Julianne Malveaux.
HANNITY: Betsy, you look wonderful in your pink dress and pearls, but why don’t you have a seat?
MCCAUGHY ROSS: No thank you, Sean, I prefer to stand through the whole show.
HANNITY: That’s up to you. First off, since Ken Starr finally succeeded in turning Web Hubbell against the president, you have to admit that things have not been going well for Clinton.
MCCAUGHY ROSS: I totally disagree, Sean. Now that the new polling data uses statistical sampling to correct miscounts, we see that 136% of the American people believe Bill Clinton is doing a great job. Those extra people were not counted in previous polls, but now their voices are being heard.
HANNITY: Those people weren’t counted because they don’t exist.
COLMES: Wrong again, Sean. In fact, a staggering 149% of the American people believe that the statistical sampling method is 165% accurate. Let’s turn to you, Victor. Do you believe that the radicals Republicans on the House Judiciary Committee will actually try to bring new impeachment charges against the president.
KAMBER: I hate to say it, but I believe they will. When the Senate finally acquitted Clinton, they proved that he had never done a single thing wrong ever. The Republicans then went into overdrive to find some new obscure technicality to charge him with.
HANNITY: Victor, are you calling the murder of Vincent Foster an obscure technicality?
KAMBER: Alleged murder.
HANNITY: Web Hubbell produced an actual videotape of Bill Clinton shooting Foster in the head, blowing the smoke away from the gun barrel, and saying to the camera, “That’s how Cuomo and his goombas back east would have handled it”!
KAMBER: We don’t know if that videotape is real.
HANNITY: It’s been verified by seven independent investigators, the CIA, and the FBI. The president even called Mario Cuomo to apologize for the ethnic slur.
COLMES: Sean, you act as if Clinton’s the first president to kill anyone. What about Washington, Grant, Eisenhower, and Bush, to name a few?
HANNITY: They were soldiers for godsake! It’s obviously not the same thing.
KAMBER: You’re just finding excuses for other presidents who’ve killed people.
CLIFT: Sean, can I interrupt? If the military weren’t so loathsome, Bill Clinton might have gone to Vietnam and done his killing in a way that you right-wing fanatics might have approved of!
HANNITY: We need to take a break, and I need to take a shower.
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COLMES: We’re back. Ambassador Keyes, try to look at this video the way I look at this video - point your left eyeball straight ahead and your right eyeball at some ill-defined spot near the ceiling.
KEYES: I’m sorry Alan, but my eyes are synchronized. I look at this video as an indelible indictment of our entire country. Liberals in congress and the media spend all their time trying to redirect the people from the main point. This murdering, marauding man we have in the White House is the most dangerous man in America. His actions are manifestly malignant and his supporters are coconspirators in the destruction of this once great nation.
COLMES: I fail to see how that exonerates Ken Starr. Betsy, I understand you’ve done a little research on impeachment law involving murder.
MCCAUGHY ROSS: That’s right Alan. Because I am a constitutional scholar, I was able to determine that the phrase “treason, bribery and other high crimes and misdemeanors” does not contain the word “murder”. Even if you scramble the letters, you are still missing the “u”.
HANNITY: Julianne Malveaux, let me ask you, do you believe murder is an impeachable offense?
MALVEAUX: Sean, let me begin by saying that, in due course, as the saying goes, in effect there are crimes mentioned in the constitution. As a matter of fact, when one does a little research, if one cares to, they discover certain things in that document. In so much as you and Doctor Keyes have noted, the fact of the matter is, for all intents and purposes, incontrovertible.
HANNITY: So you refuse to answer the question?
MALVEAUX: What part of my answer went over your head, Sean? I clearly stated that, and I’ll say this again, if you’ll let me finish. We both know that the constitution is clear on one thing, if it’s clarity you are looking for. I can’t be any clearer than that.
CLIFT: Julianne is right, Sean. And to change the subject briefly, throughout all of this, President Clinton is trying to do the job the American people elected him to do. This new trumped-up impeachment charge is preventing the congress from getting anything done. The president’s nomination for Ambassador to France is being blocked by extremists in congress.
HANNITY: The congress cannot, in good conscience, approve Clinton’s appointment of Larry Flynt! He is just trying to use the power of his office to reward those who do his dirty work.
KAMBER: Sean, you know and I know that President Clinton has never endorsed Larry Flynt’s noble exposure of Republican hypocrites. He just wanted to reach out to the disabled community in this country, something the Republicans don’t seem to care about. Besides, he thought that a child-molesting pornographer was a uniquely appropriate choice to send to France.
HANNITY: Mark down the date! I agree with the president on something! Let’s go to the phones. Agnes from Orlando, go ahead.
AGNES: I am so furious at this Republican gang!! They want to throw us old folk out on the street and take away our Medicare. I plan on voting for Clinton again. He loves his wife and son! You know the Republicans created AIDS? Now they want to …am I on?…and what about Roswell…they don’t know about morality…I despise them all, they are so full of hate.
COLMES: Good call Agnes, Jason from New Jersey, you’re on the air.
JASON: I have a question for Alan. How come you and the other liberals never bad-mouthed Hubbell before he turned against Clinton?
COLMES: Jason, the fact is that new information has surfaced that the president and the first lady never trusted Hubbell. They didn’t express this openly because they were trying to shield Hubbell’s dog and cat from partisan indictments. Besides, we now know that Hubbell shops for his pants at the very same Haband outlet were Richard Mellon Scaife shops. This fact is conveniently ignored by those on the right.
HANNITY: That’s all we have time for tonight.
COLMES: Tune in tomorrow when we’ll discuss the president’s courageous and bold plan to disarm the citizenry and outlaw dissent. What exactly are the Republicans afraid of? Goodnight and stay tuned for the Crier Report.
That.... is hysterical!
I actually remember this.