Millennials are killing the dinner date

nypost ^

[ChicagoConservative27]

In recent years, somewhere between endless Tinder swipes and countless OkCupid matches, the dinner date has fallen by the wayside.

As online dating surges in popularity, few millennials have the time, money, or desire to sit with a stranger over a long meal. Only 7 in 10,000 messages in a recent OkCupid IAC survey suggested “grabbing some dinner” and a somewhat less scientific survey this reporter conducted of several dozen actively dating 20-somethings found that dinner has become a highly taboo first date. Last month, Moody’s Investors Service slashed its operating-profit growth forecast for the restaurant sector. (This appears to complement another trend noted by market researcher NPD Group that suggests 57 percent of meals in the US are eaten alone.)

There’s good reason why people don’t want to sit through a meal with a stranger for an hour, or often longer. One singleton this reporter spoke to called it her “worst nightmare,” and another said the idea of sitting through an unspecified number of hours of food, drinks or dessert makes her anxious. A recent article in Cosmopolitan detailed “Why First-Date Dinners Suck,” listing similar reasons: The date category is antiquated, the time frame of the event is too long if there is no chemistry, and eating is too “intimate.”

[Dilbert San Diego]

If you read between the lines here, you can see that millenials only care about getting laid. The basis of relationships, intimacy, is completely dismissed as a waste of time.

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While it may be nice to “get laid”, there’s a lot more to life, and a relationship with someone, than just that.

But excellent point you make. Today’s millennials have grown up in a culture in which having sex outside marriage is considered ok, with any number of partners, any sex of your partners.

And maybe the millennials don’t see the forest for the trees in this area of life. I have to admit that I absolutely love sex, however, there is so much more than that if you get seriously involved with someone. Or I should say, the quality and richness of your relationship depends on much more than sexual attraction.

[Blue Jays]

Sounds like you went about it in a reasonable and practical manner.
Your deceased wife certainly wanted you to go on with life and be happy again.
Good for you for your very sensible approach. Good luck!

[Dilbert San Diego]

“eating is too intimate.”

what a joke, they will hook up with strangers.

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Amazing reasoning isn’t it? Sadly amazing I should say.

Eating is too intimate, but going to bed with a relative stranger is not considered too intimate. What a crazy world this is.

[LibertarianLiz]

Dinner dates suck. They’re a terrible way to get to know somebody, and just not fun.

I remember a dinner date I had with someone I met at a friend's wedding. We ordered dinner, it came, he inhaled his and I was left with most of my food still on my plate and he watched me eat for the rest of the meal.

Also, on the way out, he was holding my hand, and pulled open the door; but, only enough for him and his arm and my hand to get through and the door body slammed me on my way out.

[central_va]

Virtues of older women. - Ben Franklin.

1. They are smart. "Because they have more Knowledge of the world, and their Minds are better stored with Observations; their Conversation is more improving, and more lasting agreeable."
2. They are GOOD. "Because when Women cease to be handsome, they study to be good. To maintain their Influence over Men, they supply the Diminution of Beauty by an Augmentation of Utility. They learn to do a thousand Services, small and great, and are the most tender and useful of all Friends when you are sick. Thus they continue amiable. And hence there is hardly such a thing to be found as an old Woman who is not a good Woman."
3. No more kids. "Because there is no hazard of children, which irregularly produced may be attended with much inconvenience."
4. They are sensible. "Because through more Experience they are more prudent and discreet in conducting an Intrigue to prevent Suspicion. The Commerce with them is therefore safer with regard to your reputation; and with regard to theirs, if the Affair should happen to be known, considerate People might be rather inclined to excuse an old Woman, who would kindly take care of a young Man, form his manners by her good Councils, and prevent his ruining his Health and Fortune among mercenary Prostitutes."
5. They are not afraid of the dark. "Because in every Animal that walks upright, the Deficiency of the Fluids that fill the Muscles appears first in the highest Part. The Face first grows lank and wrinkled; then the Neck; then the Breast and Arms; the lower parts continuing to the last as plump as ever; so that coving all above with a Basket, and regarding only what is below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old one from a young one. And as in the Dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of Corporal Enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal and frequently superior; every Knack being by Practice capable of improvement.
6. Sin "Because the sin is less. The Debauching of a Virgin may be her Ruin, and make her Life unhappy."
7. They have their own life. "Because the Compunction is less. The having made a young Girl miserable may give you frequent bitter Reflections; none of which can attend making an old Woman HAPPY."
8. They know a good thing. "And lastly. They are so grateful!!!"
9. They have a sense of humor.

[alexander_busek]

These Millenials will never cut it in business. I’ve lost track of how many dinners I’ve eaten with clients and potential customers whom I didn’t even like.

Business is a different domain; rules valid there are often not valid in the "dating" domain, and vice-versa.

And besides: Aren't business meals generally restricted to business relationships that are already relatively "developed," i.e., have advanced beyond the "first meeting" stage?

Regards,

[central_va]

until he drained three beers (in an hour), made a pass at the waitress, and was a general boor. That was a bullet dodged.

Why did you take him to a gentleman's club than?

[CodeToad]

“And restaurant owners keep shooting themselves in the feet by constantly retooling their menus to appeal to a younger crowd. “

Yep. It won’t work on the ADHD crowd. The only thing that seems to work are “brew houses”, or pubs.

[Larry Lucido]

These days I’d imagine you’d want to check under the hood to find out what kind of equipment “Kaitlyn” comes with, and maybe check further to see if it’s factory installed or after-market.

[CodeToad]

“while younger folks/couples are rare because they got no money!”

Maybe, but I also see many of them have money and not know what money is. They waste it.

[wbill]

....and the door body slammed me on my way out.

So....how was the second date?

;-)

[Dilbert San Diego]

LOL, ask what the cow’s name was., LOL. Agonize over ordering a sandwich, more LOL.

But you make an excellent point. It’s great to see how people interact with others. True for dating, or hiring people as you were doing.

Your screening mechanism sounds great. Who the heck makes a pass at a waitress or drinks too much, in a job interview situation?? Does he not realize the lunch itself is part of the interview process, and to try to be on his best behavior???

[CodeToad]

“These days I’d imagine you’d want to check under the hood to find out what kind of equipment “Kaitlyn” comes with, and maybe check further to see if it’s factory installed or after-market.”

ROFL! “Dat ain’t no Chevy! Dat be a Hyundai”!

[CodeToad]

“They have a sense of humor.”

That is exactly what the more mature man is hoping for!

[Obadiah]

Exactly what you said. And with 99% of movies today that’s the main plot — hooking up with no responsibility and no consequences. After all how popular were the sitcoms, “Friends”, “Seinfeld”, and who know what more recently. All twenty-somethings who are single and engage in regular hook-ups, or the hunt for a hook-up.

[central_va]

Number 5 LOL!

[Dilbert San Diego]

Thank you for the good wishes.

Yes my wife wanted me to go on with life. Even long before her final illness and passing, we had talked about such matters. And she had made it clear that she would want me to move on and be happy with someone else if she died before I did. And I made the same statement to her along those lines.

[Buckeye McFrog]

Lunch was going to be a formality...... until he drained three beers (in an hour), made a pass at the waitress, and was a general boor. That was a bullet dodged.

Amazing what alcohol does to some people. I remember an old colleague...a mild-mannered bespectacled guy who reminded you of Mr. Peepers. Couldn't seem less offensive. But get him out on the road someplace, put a few drinks in him, and he turned into a 24-hour walking panty raid.

Saw a waitress in Nashville once have to smack him silly. Kind of frightening as we both had female employees whom we supervised.

[wbill]

HA! That was the running joke at the office....local gentleman's club served "Free Lunch with admission". I never partook of it, and likely would be a little dubious about anything served...

Nope, this was the local sports bar. About like an TGIF ChiliRuby's Applebee. One of those work-lunch places where everyone can find something to eat, but none of it is particularly good.

[elcid1970]

Back in the late 70’s there was a local spot which was ideal for first dates. Cozy with booths & featured nothing more expensive than wine coolers and chef’s salads.

That was in the days of `swinging singles’.