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Im following your exchange and chuckling, remembering an old white guy who once lived next door to me. The guy was a racist with the best intentions who just could not hear himself or fathom the effect of his words from any perspective other than his own.

One morning he called me on the phone, very excited, and said, “Quick! Look out the window.”
I looked out, perplexed, expecting to see a dead body in the street, which was far too common in the neighborhood.
But no, nothing. Flowers blooming, bees buzzing. The middle-aged black dude across the street, a homeowner, was mowing his own yard.

“That’s what I’m talking about!!” said my neighbor. “We should go over there together! And commend him! For being so responsible!”
“Whut?” sez I. “Aw, jeez. No. That’s just gonna sound racist.”
“Why racist? He should be PROUD to be complimented! Haven’t you ever heard of black pride? And if we commend him, maybe the other black people will hear about it, and be encouraged to be more responsible too! “

Whaddaya mean WE, paleface, certainly applied here.

After trying in vain to explain to him there was nothing unusual about a man mowing his own yard on a Saturday morning, I just gave up and told him he was on his own. No way would I go with him and participate in his condescension.
I also suspected that, if the “other black people” heard about it, “WE” would be more likely to get a tire-slashing or an ass-kicking, not gratitude and resolve to be more responsible.

A few minutes later I’m getting in my car to run errands, and the old white guy is over there, trying to give the old black guy a dollar! To pay him —and compliment him —for mowing his own yard!
He’s saying, “Take this dollar! Take it! As a token of my appreciation for what you’re doing!” and trying to shove the dollar into his hand.
And the black man is backing away, staring at him the way you’d stare at a turd in a punchbowl, in utter disbelief.
LOL.