Women don’t take their husband’s names in Italy and it’s not exactly a haven of ultra-feminism over there believe me.
I didn’t know that they didn’t take their husband’s names until I married an Italian and she told me. She was willing to take mine but explained with all the work she did publishing various papers over her career, if she changed her name it would be a hardship for others to find her previous work (s). (Because a search by her new name wouldn’t show any of her work done under her maiden name)
The more I thought of it (after a few days) the more I decided it’s not a big deal. In Italy the children take the name of the father and that’s what’s “important” anyway (as far as last names go) and we’ve already agreed that our children, should God bless us with any, will have my name. In social situations she identifies with my last name legally with hers and again I don’t care.
I know she loves me and my name and would prefer it anyway, if it weren’t for, again, a legal change complicating her career. On its own, as a single issue, it’s not worth destroying a relationship in my opinion.
Obviously there are exceptions. I am speaking of the general, “trendy” women these days who don’t take their husband’s name. This first came to my attention three years ago when I was preparing to marry my husband. I was truly surprised at the number of people who called me old fashioned when they asked if I was changing my name & I told them yes.