Posted on 03/25/2016 8:50:29 PM PDT by Arthur McGowan
Suddenly, Tyler is screaming. Screaming. Tyler’s screams could pierce through the din of any commercial. They could break glass. Gabriel sits up with a start, his heart racing.
(Excerpt) Read more at phillyvoice.com ...
Right now we are staying with my MIL while our house is having some construction done, but we are very adamant that she not let the baby cry it out or we will leave. So far she has been good about abiding by our wishes. We also take the baby with us pretty much everywhere. We are retired so we don’t have ‘day jobs’ to worry about.
You still haven’t had time to read the articles, but you’re on your second post.
Retired??? That IS a miracle baby!
Oh, and oats with coconut oil and cinnamon. Her mouth will slightly redden from the cinnamon, but boy will she enjoy it.
Ha ha ha! You and me both!
If you have access to raw milk you can drink that and baby won’t have issues. Start with very small amounts of EVOO and coconut oil. Docs know very little, sorry to say. You will figure it out before they will.
I put my babies to bed every night since they were born. I hold them when they cry, rush to the bed when they call to me, invite them when they are scared, and take care of them always. My oldest is six.
I weigh 195 and I am a male; can run 10 miles any time its called for. Make a fare living and raise my children 1 mile from the ocean.
There is no way in hell I’ll let my children be scared of something as insignificant as being alone. Because they never are.
I think it is important to know the difference between helping a child learn self soothing techniques and just letting a child scream on and on and on.
Children who know they have somebody they can always rely on grow up to be more self reliant. So many don’t get this.
40%?????
I didn’t read the article (yet) because I suspected it would totally freak me out. Reading about cruelty to children, as well as animals and the elderly, pains me so much I can hardly stand it. (Of course the Islamic jihad thing too but aside from that).
The idea that little children and babies should be left alone to cry is nothing short of demoniac.
It’s that simple.
I have a very very heartwrenching experience in this field.
I’m in the middle of this little nightmare, and I’m sitting here at 12:30 am because I simply don’t want to go to bed.
My wife and I have a 20 month old baby, who has yet to ever sleep by herself. In fact, when you stop touching her she will immediately wake up.
The longest she has ever slept on her own, without holding our hands is 20 minutes. This is not an exaggeration, this is not a cry for attention.
We log it.
We record it.
We are serious. She never sleeps for more than 20 minutes and most of the time never makes it past 5 minutes.
We have our mattress on the floor, and her matress next to ours. Throughout the night we switch sides and continuously attempt to get her to sleep without holding our hands.
We had tried “cry it out” once, waiting around the corner to the advice of our award winning pedriatician (The 4th of 9 pediatricians we’ve consulted) and she cried non-stop for 4 hours and 23 minutes before we gave in. We were crying more than she was.
this topic strikes me as more than a “child abuse” sort of thing. This has tickled divorce. This has tickled suicide. This has tickled some very, very damaging thoughts.
Now before any ass wants to lecture me about those statements, this is 2 years of no sleep. This is lost clients. This is lost money (I can’t function. I’ve lost clients, and I’m struggling to stay ahead at work. I work at home now at a dramatic cut in pay and I’ve sold everything)
You may recall me from years ago talking about my successful I.T. business. It’s gone. Everything is gone. And it’s gone because of this.
My baby daughter sleeps for about 5 to 7 hours out of every 24 hour period. She’s fine - alert and happy when she’s awake. I wish I could say the same for her parents.
We don’t really speak to each other anymore. When one is awake, the other is sleeping. We both now work from home trying our best to keep food on the table and heat radiating throughout the house.
So i am here to tell you, that as someone who is going through this - after a few months of this you’ll try anything. And you won’t consider it “abuse”. You’ll do whatever you can do to get your baby to sleep.
Right now we just promised to stick together for a few years and see how it works out. But the fights and friction between us is overwhelming.
There is, of course, more to this story. But I am here to tell you that this is not a case of child abuse. It’s a case of “doing what your pediatrician tells you to”.
And without an answer, I’ve forfeited my life in the pursuit of raising a daughter until she gets to an age where she understands the idea of letting her parents sleep.
Right now, she has utterly no concept of what we ask of her. She doesn’t understand that we’re not there not because we’re abandoning her. She lacks this communication.
So my wife and I have literally put up or shut up. And we’ve decided to continue muscling down this path until she’s about 4 or so and can understand discipline, and getting to sleep on her own.
And we will not be having a second after this. We simply can’t survive such an experience.
I may sound “matter of fact” about this, but my psyche is literally dead. I have no actual emotional response anymore and all I know is deep depression and anxiety. And yeah, I have to hide it and convert it to happiness when “its my turn”. I power through that quite well because it’s that important to me - and she does really make me happy when she’s awake.
But without me leaving my job we would have been divorced by now. No doubt about it.
Despite what the doctor told the couple in the article self soothing is not letting a baby scream it out. It is making sure they have a means such as a pacifier or lovey available that they can hold and which parents know helps calm them down. But a parent should always respond if the crying becomes frantic or lasts more than a few minutes.
I wonder if your daughter was like this from day one, or after vaccinations. I think you should take her to some “alternative” doctors like Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) doctors. This is far from normal and there is a reason for this that may be found. I am an herbalist and have some passing knowledge of other traditional medicine such as Ayurveda.
I hope you search out some other means of treatment for her besides just suffering through or regular doctors.
the Pediatrician doesn’t know squat. Hold your child whenever she needs you. Christ, it’s that simple. I would lie in bead with my girl for over an hour sometimes. But she has so many friends and is well adjusted and sweet. The boy too. Doctors are often wrong- especially about childrens’ behaviorial needs. My pediatrician is a personal friend and I tell her I simply disagree and it aint going to happen.
and by the way; I have been there... she’ll grow out of it and will trust you and have a better relationship with you... I know first hand.
Funny you should mention.
Being adoptive parents, we’ve always been mindful of attachment and abandonment issues.
Once my wife’s business partner, who used to be our social worker, wondered out loud why our daughter has attached to us so beautifully. She said “usually, the child will pick one parent or the other to bond to, at least initially, but she bounces between you two like a ping pong ball.”
I asked her “what is the single most prevalent form of abandonment a child endures?”
She drew a blank.
I told her “going to bed.” “One of us has rocked her to sleep in our arms every single night since she came into our family.”
She’s seven now, and while we haven’t rocked her to sleep in a long time, she puts herself to bed every night by curling up on the couch or in my cave next to her momma or I, and sleeps contentedly that way even after we put her in bed.
Suicidal thoughts are not caused by a colicky baby.
You might consider taking your daughter to a pediatric neurologist. I am sorry for what you are going through. I pray you and your family find answers soon and gains some peace of mind.
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