An Authoritarian regime demands obedience and has a long list of actions which you must take and actions which you may never take. As long as you follow the rules, you'll generally do OK.
A Totalitarian regime demands your soul. You must believe -- truly believe -- what they believe. Abandon your God and swear undying allegiance to their God. Behaving is not enough -- you must fully commit to the other side. At the end of 1984, Winston Smith loves Big Brother.
Our enemies seek a Totalitarian society. It is not enough that marriage licenses be issued. They demand that Kim Davis be the one to issue them. That's just rubbing her face in it. That's Totalitarianism.
OMG!