Years ago one of my brothers became involved with a woman. She was married but didn’t tell him. All the while he thought he was in control of the relationship she was leading him around by the...libido.
Fortunately (for most concerned at any rate) someone sought him out and privately brought him up to speed. He had it bad for her but broke off the affair. But she wasn’t ready to end it. She chased him to the point where he was considering a NCO.
It became more and more awkward as people became aware of the liaison (at one point after he broke off the relationship with her she started bringing the husband around the bar we frequented). Several criticized him even though he was as much a victim as the husband was. I don’t know how the husband finally found out but they abruptly stopped coming around to the bar we all frequented and then they were divorced.
It was a messed up deal (I almost said affair) for all concerned - one in which everyone lost something and the husband lost everything.
I am very sorry to hear that.
I’m sure he was devastated. One, his love interest was a mirage. Two, he had to have felt some guilt over being “the other guy” behind a husband’s back. And even though not by choice, you’d still feel that way.
Back during the Vietnam war, I was introduced to a woman. She wanted to play around and I considered it until I found out she had a husband and he was in Vietnam. I hightailed it out of there and never went back.
You brother’s friend did the right thing in private. Hopefully someone did the same thing for the husband.
I agree that your brother was a victim here. No doubt about it. Tough situation for him.