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At Age 3 — Transitioning From Jack To Jackie
NPR ^ | 07/04/2015 | Eric Westervelt

Posted on 07/04/2015 5:33:31 PM PDT by ScottWalkerForPresident2016

What would you do if your 3-year-old son told you assuredly that he wanted to be a girl? An Oakland, Cali. couple told their child it was OK, and a sad boy become a joyful little girl.

It's controlled after-school anarchy at the Christian-Carter household. Seven-year-old Chloe has rolled herself up in an exercise mat in the living room of the family's lovely Oakland, Calif., home.

"Look I'm a burrito," Chloe shouts.

Her 4-year-old sister, Jackie, swoops in for a bite — and a hard push.

"Ow!" Chloe shouts. "Mom! Jackie pushed me!"

Just two sisters playing, occasionally sparring, as dad, James Christian, and mom, Mary Carter, watch nearby.

Jackie's birthday is in mid-October, but for Carter and Christian, a second date is seared in memory almost as intensely — what Carter calls "The Day."

Five Makeshift Ponytales

"It was May 15, 2014, and I remember the date because Jackie was out of school that day," she says. "We drove to drop her older sister off at kindergarten. And normally Jackie is quite happy and content to hang out with me and play."

Jackie was 3 then, and she was called Jack. Glancing into the backseat of her car, Mary noticed something different.

"Jackie just looked really, really sad; sadder than a 3-and-a-half-year-old should look," Carter says. "This weight that looked like it weighed more than she did, something she had to say and I didn't know what that was.

"So I asked. I said, 'Jackie, are you sad that you're not going to school today?' And Jackie was really quiet and put her head down and said 'No, I'm sad because I'm a boy.' "

Carter was taken aback. Her youngest had been wearing her big sister's dresses regularly and enjoyed donning pink boots. But this was new.

Carter wanted to confirm. "You're really not happy being a boy?" she asked.

"I thought a little bit longer and I said, 'Well, are you happy being you?' And that made Jackie smile," she says. "And I felt like for that moment, that was all that really mattered. That was 'The Day.' "

Carter took her to a chain drug store, and Jackie asked for elastic hair bands. Her hair wasn't long enough yet, but Carter put Jackie's hair up in five makeshift ponytails.

"And I've never seen such a happy child," she remembers. "To go from maybe an hour before this, this child who looks so sad, to that, I felt like I'd done something right by her."

In the months that followed, they started talking over girl names, with help from Jackie's pre-K teacher. On her fourth birthday, the family sang happy birthday for the first time to Jackie.

Jackie Stood Her Ground

A new job for Christian had prompted the family to move from Atlanta to Oakland two years ago. Carter and Christian say they feel lucky they've landed there. The Bay Area is one of the most LGBT friendly regions in the nation. The challenges ahead might be far greater, Christian says, if they'd stayed in the South.

He recalls the Fourth of July weekend last year, when they were back visiting Atlanta. At a community party, Christian noticed a group of kids gathering around Jackie, who still went by Jack back then.

"There was a point when some of the other boys, alpha males, talking about 15 kids surrounding Jackie," he says, "wanted to challenge this notion, 'Wait a minute, you said you're a boy but you're wearing a dress and have pony tails. I don't understand that.' "

Christian says he felt anger at first. "Then joy, when this girl of about 9 stepped in and said, 'This is Jack, he's my friend.' And Jackie stood her ground, and so that made me very proud," he says.

It's only been a little more than a year since Jack became Jackie. Neither of her parents has any illusions about the potential struggles ahead. Transgender people have alarmingly high rates of depression, substance abuse and suicide.

"There will be more challenges, certainly, as Jackie gets older and gets around more kids," Christian says. "Then puberty, and dating, and the challenges will be like a very steep curve. But I'm hoping that by the time she gets there, I hope, one, we've given her the tools and two, that there's more acceptance of this issue."

There is more acceptance now than there was even a few years ago, says psychologist Diane Ehrensaft at the UCSF Benioff Children's Hospital. Ehrensaft has worked with transgender youth for more than 20 years.

"We as a culture have lifted the lid so that kids can start speaking up, showing themselves and that we have a lens to understand it from," she says. "That's all very new. We are now much more commonly hearing very little children speak up, 'Please let me be the gender I am rather than the gender you think I am.' "

Experts in the field diverge on how to approach gender identity issues in the very young. Jackie's parents know some people may not understand their approach. It is even hard for them at times.

As Carter explains, her daughter Chloe is the only one in the family Jackie still allows to occasionally refer to her as "Jack," as "he" and as "brother."

"Chloe is very loving and protective and supportive," she says. "But I think for Chloe, she still attaches this memory of her little brother, of Jack. And it's right now hard for her to let that go. It's that last piece she's holding on to."

"I myself have times when I miss my boy," says James Christian. "And I look at the old clothes and the old pictures and I will miss Jack. And that's probably never going to go away. That's just going to take some time."


TOPICS: Culture/Society; US: California
KEYWORDS: boy; california; duplicate; homosexualagenda; searchworks; transgender; transsexual
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To: utahagen
However, I do believe that homosexuality is (80% of the time) a physiological disability and that children who for years insist they should be the opposite gender have the most extreme version of the disability.

Wow! You sure swallowed the liberal Kool-Aid by the gallon!

21 posted on 07/04/2015 6:27:57 PM PDT by DJ MacWoW (The Fed Gov is not one ring to rule them all)
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To: utahagen

How can anyone be born a crossdresser?

Note, not all transvestites are homosexuals. Some just like the fetish of wearing ‘forbidden’ garments. Or personal effects belonging to a love interest.

We are born naked, there is no ‘wear the clothes of the opposite sex’ gene.


22 posted on 07/04/2015 6:28:45 PM PDT by a fool in paradise ("Psychopathia Sexualis, I'm in love with a horse that comes from Dallas" - Lenny Bruce (1958))
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To: DJ MacWoW; utahagen

“”Look I’m a burrito,” Chloe shouts”

Utahagen needs to explain the burrito-exual mechanism as well.


23 posted on 07/04/2015 6:34:40 PM PDT by Darksheare (Those who support liberal "Republicans" summarily support every action by same.)
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To: Darksheare; utahagen; wagglebee; DJ MacWoW
"Physiological" cause doesn't necessarily mean "genetic" cause.

Xeno-estrogens in the environment are known to cause impaired or ambivalent sexual development in many vertebrates.

Most of our watersheds are contaminated with estrogens and estradiols. Plus, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics, soy-based (infant) formula is now 25 percent of the market in the United States. Soy is known to have estrogenic effects.

This does not mean that those 25% of babies + God-knows how many kids exposed to estrogen-contaminated water, are going to turn out gay, transsexual or gender-confused.

We just don't know how many will.

As a general observation, as the use of hormone-based birth control and soy-based infant formula has risen, so has general gender confusion.

We all know correlation does not equal causation. But if we never research it, we'll never know if there IS causation.

I fear the results of our incuriosity may become catastrophic.

24 posted on 07/04/2015 6:35:39 PM PDT by Mrs. Don-o (When you see a fork in the road, take it. - Yogi Berra)
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To: Darksheare; utahagen

I am always surprised when someone who should know better buys into the propaganda.


25 posted on 07/04/2015 6:36:54 PM PDT by DJ MacWoW (The Fed Gov is not one ring to rule them all)
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To: Mrs. Don-o

Please don’t tell me that you’ve bought the crock too! Please!


26 posted on 07/04/2015 6:38:20 PM PDT by DJ MacWoW (The Fed Gov is not one ring to rule them all)
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To: DJ MacWoW; utahagen

Burrito-exual rights!
Stand up for the right to become a burrito!
/ snerk.

Pretty much the same mentality/”logic” behind it.


27 posted on 07/04/2015 6:48:32 PM PDT by Darksheare (Those who support liberal "Republicans" summarily support every action by same.)
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To: utahagen
I think these children are the hard-end of the homosexually disabled; they are truly and biologically mixed with regard to their gender.

If so, researchers ought to find out what Mommy drank, smoked or ingested in pregnancy, including whether she had been on birth control pills or any hormones to prevent miscarriage. But researchers are no longer able to study homosexuality objectively, because it offends the fascists running everything.

28 posted on 07/04/2015 6:50:37 PM PDT by Albion Wilde (When the left says justice, it means power. -- Daniel Greenfield)
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To: a fool in paradise
the joys of tex-mex.

LOL!

29 posted on 07/04/2015 6:52:57 PM PDT by Albion Wilde (When the left says justice, it means power. -- Daniel Greenfield)
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To: Mrs. Don-o

What we have in this article are parents who are sick and shouldn’t be in a position of authority over anything more complicated than Tonka trucks..
..but there are lots of horrifically unqualified “parents” out there without the sense God gave a garden gnome.
*sigh*


30 posted on 07/04/2015 6:54:02 PM PDT by Darksheare (Those who support liberal "Republicans" summarily support every action by same.)
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To: ScottWalkerForPresident2016
couple told their child it was OK, and a sad boy become a joyful little girl.

So just make your toddlers "happy" and you're doing it right! Thank you Liberals. Parenting just became SO much easier. MORE candy. MORE video games. An iPhone 6 Plus for every child at birth. Whatever makes them HAPPY!!!

31 posted on 07/04/2015 6:55:36 PM PDT by montag813 (Pray for Israel)
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To: Darksheare

Well, maybe he can TRANSITION his way to becoming Mexican food by first transitioning to become Hispanic.

Can he salsa dance? Does he have a favorite Reggaeton band? Can he roll his R’s yet? These are the questions wise journalistas asked Senator Ted Cruz when asking for his hispanic credentials.


32 posted on 07/04/2015 6:59:09 PM PDT by a fool in paradise ("Psychopathia Sexualis, I'm in love with a horse that comes from Dallas" - Lenny Bruce (1958))
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To: Darksheare; utahagen; Mrs. Don-o
From the article: Carter was taken aback. Her youngest had been wearing her HIS big sister's dresses regularly and enjoyed donning pink boots. But this was new.

MY GENES MADE ME DO IT !

So if we ask the question, “What produces the sexual identity of intersex children?” we have to answer that upbringing greatly pre - dominates—even in modern society, and more so in a less liberal society.

That is, about 90% of intersexes on record have elected to continue in the gender in which they were raised, even in the face of strongly contradictory biological and physi cal characteristics. If the influence of upbringing is so strong that it can over-ride obvious contrary biological predispositions, then it is more powerful than biology in the development of gender identity, at least in most countries. It be comes nonsensical to argue that gender identity in chr o mosomally normal individuals (like homose xuals) is genetically or biologically enforced. In modern Western society, sexual identity appears to be about 10% genetic and 90% environmental. So it is quite plausible that homosexuality is also 10% genetic and 90% environmental

The child in the article was not born "intersex" so there isn't even that excuse. If you encourage a child to dress a certain way you are imprinting on that child.

33 posted on 07/04/2015 6:59:15 PM PDT by DJ MacWoW (The Fed Gov is not one ring to rule them all)
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To: ScottWalkerForPresident2016

People are sometimes born with a female brain and male genitalia/body. When was Jenner born, in the 40s? If this kid had been born in the 40s he would have been shushed and slapped and he would have lived a life like Jenner described. Trying so hard to be male that maybe he would have been a high achiever in some male aspect of life.

Now, parents are practically prepared by their baby books to accept and be tolerant of children expressing the feeling they are another gender. And so they will do idiotic things like this.

As a mom of three sons, THIS WAS WAYYY TOO EARLY. Many kids up to age 5-6 do some gender bending or prefer the toys of the other gender. MOST OF THEM don’t stay “transgender.” It is a phase. I had toddlers wish they could wear tampons like me — grow up to be manly hetero men!! Toddlers can wear makeup, play with all sorts of things. They are children just being themselves.

What should Mom have done that day in the car? She should have said, “I’m sorry you’re so sad, Jack.” And accept his EMOTION, and help him find a place for it. None of us love all that we have been dealt with but it doesn’t mean we need to hang a different moon in the sky.

To a three year old, it could be very sad when his sister goes to school. It could be really sad when he sees kids doing something his family cannot afford. If this little one really does have this disorder that the libs call “transgender,” it is too young to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

Even if he cries daily about it, at first you have to just hug and support him, and maybe make up funny stories to make him feel better, like A Boy Wishes He Were A Girl and what adventures he might have. First, he should feel his parents love him no matter what, and that he has something uncomfortable going on, and they will be there for him through it all. He doesn’t need to transition at 3!!! This makes me upset.

If the boy had cancer, he would be sad he had cancer and couldn’t live the way he wanted. His parents couldn’t click their fingers and make the cancer go away, so they have to own their experience together. This is the same thing.


34 posted on 07/04/2015 7:01:28 PM PDT by Yaelle ("You're gonna fly away, Glad you're going my way...")
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To: montag813

And by the liberals’ logic, the soon to be seen rise in the # of adopted children of homosexual couples identifying as “being different” will be because the parents were ATTUNED (by naturally occurring sense of gaydar) to their 3-year old’s true sexual identity...


35 posted on 07/04/2015 7:02:03 PM PDT by a fool in paradise ("Psychopathia Sexualis, I'm in love with a horse that comes from Dallas" - Lenny Bruce (1958))
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To: Yaelle

See the post above yours, post 33.


36 posted on 07/04/2015 7:03:59 PM PDT by DJ MacWoW (The Fed Gov is not one ring to rule them all)
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To: a fool in paradise

But why stop at mex fare?
Why not fugu?


37 posted on 07/04/2015 7:04:05 PM PDT by Darksheare (Those who support liberal "Republicans" summarily support every action by same.)
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To: DJ MacWoW
That's not a crock, and I didn't "buy" it ---if you mean buying pro-gay propaganda.

Nothing in the physiological gender-confusion scenario justifies sodomy. Sodomy is, in itself, an act of grave depravity, inherently abusive. Under no circumstances can it be justified.

Sex-change surgery is inherently abusive, too. It's genital mutilation, just as morally wrong as the crap they do in Somalia.

Gender confusion is real. Factors contributing to it could possibly be a combination of exposure to gender-theory ideology, early-childhood experiences of sex abuse, being raised in a sick, pan-sexualized culture, and intra-uterine or infant hormonal imbalances.

It's not easy to sort out, but hormones definitely have an impact on sex expression. Every biologist knows that.

And not just humans: animals too. You'd be amazed at what a touch of testosterone does to a developing female, or estrogen to a developing male.

Don't blame the victim. Don't "celebrate" the victim, either. Recognize a real problem.

38 posted on 07/04/2015 7:04:17 PM PDT by Mrs. Don-o (When you see a fork in the road, take it. - Yogi Berra)
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To: Mrs. Don-o

Read Post 33.


39 posted on 07/04/2015 7:05:49 PM PDT by DJ MacWoW (The Fed Gov is not one ring to rule them all)
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To: Darksheare
How about some tolerance for the mushroom people?

#Hysteria

40 posted on 07/04/2015 7:06:15 PM PDT by a fool in paradise ("Psychopathia Sexualis, I'm in love with a horse that comes from Dallas" - Lenny Bruce (1958))
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