I am damn near dying here -- I don't know whether to laugh or cry!!
Coming up next: Mouth Feel Control!!
Ya. Gotta love this one!!!
Ketchup Speed Limits
{technical note: this not in miles per hour (mph), but in centimeters per second. So all posted ketchup speed limit signs should have an appropriate conversion applied.}
Be always on the alert for the speed limit signs on the ketchup bottles, in the stores, and at the restaurants. And if you see ketchup going too fast then by all means call 911 and report it. And if ketchup is going too slow and not using the slow lane and holding up other ketchup, then it too should be reported.
http://www.accessdata.fda.gov/scripts/cdrh/cfdocs/cfCFR/CFRSearch.cfm?fr=155.194
“The consistency of the finished food is such that its flow is not more than 14 centimeters in 30 seconds at 20 deg. C when tested in a Bostwick Consistometer in the following manner: Check temperature of mixture and adjust to 20+/-1 deg. C. The trough must also be at a temperature close to 20 deg. C. Adjust end-to-end level of Bostwick Consistometer by means of the spirit level placed in trough of instrument. Side-to-side level may be adjusted by means of the built-in spirit level. Transfer sample to the dry sample chamber of the Bostwick Consistometer. Fill the chamber slightly more than level full, avoiding air bubbles as far as possible. Pass a straight edge across top of chamber starting from the gate end to remove excess product. Release gate of instrument by gradual pressure on lever, holding the instrument down at the same time to prevent its movement as the gate is released. Immediately start the stop watch or interval timer, and after 30 seconds read the maximum distance of flow to the nearest 0.1 centimeter. Clean and dry the instrument and repeat the reading on another portion of sample. Do not wash instrument with hot water if it is to be used immediately for the next determination, as this may result in an increase in temperature of the sample. For highest accuracy, the instrument should be maintained at a temperature of 20+/-1 deg. C. If readings vary more than 0.2 centimeter, repeat a third time or until satisfactory agreement is obtained. Report the average of two or more readings, excluding any that appear to be abnormal.”