"Barry, the garbage man's here."
"Good. Tell him to leave two cans!"
Posted on 03/15/2015 1:14:06 PM PDT by 2ndDivisionVet
From a very young age, Black men are typically given a traditional set of roles they are expected to take on in a relationship. Perhaps two of the most emphasized of these roles are the protector and the provider.
Unfortunately, the sheer necessity of the Black Lives Matter movement is a reminder that it can be increasingly difficult for Black men today to fulfill these roles in the traditional sense.
How can one be a provider for his partner and family when he is suddenly placed in a position where it has become difficult to even protect himself?
How can he hold onto his aspirations of being a provider for his family when racially biased hiring practices and a corrupt justice system are leaving Black men even further disadvantaged economically?
All the while, Black women are making incredible strides on both a collegiate and economic level.
This is not to suggest that Black women are not also facing the disadvantages that come from years of oppression and systemic racism, but rather that there is a general perception that Black women are becoming more and more independent just as many Black men are starting to feel more vulnerable.
“Black women are beginning to feel more powerful and independent than ever before, making serious gains in higher education attainment and entering the workforce at unprecedented rates,” Clutch Magazine’s Tiffanie Drayton explains. “Black men, however, are increasingly facing the harsh realities of mass-incarceration and the sky-high unemployment rates that have disallowed them access to the typical ‘masculine’ roles — leaving then vulnerable and confused.”
This shift is one that can cause confusion and stress in a relationship, but Drayton explains that there are certain tips Black women should always remember when they find themselves in a relationship with a strong man who happens to be going through hard times.
The foundation of the advice comes from one of the golden rules to having a successful relationship — patience.
“Life isn’t easy and no one ever said it would be,” Drayton adds. “…We are battling ideals that have been ingrained and reinforced since childhood by society and tons of financial/economic/social obstacles, they will not disappear just because we think they should.”
So despite the strength that a man may have and the desire that burns within him to always protect and provide, there are times when he is not always able to be the knight in shining armor that he was taught to be. The key thing to remember is that many times that feeling alone is taking a mental toll on the noble knight.
There is no need to angrily address financial woes or cast blame on him if he is, in fact, trying his best in the relationship.
This is perhaps what makes Drayton’s tip about expectations so important.
“Today, we are dealing with a unique circumstance where we have to try to separate what we need from what we have been socialized to expect,” she writes. “Though [every woman] wants to be treated with love and respect; love and respect can look quite different than it did in the Disney movies and love stories we grew up entertaining.”
Have a conversation about what you really need your partner to provide and in what ways you truly need protection.
This is important because it lets a man know that his job is not limited by preconceived gender roles of “bringing home the bacon.”
Even in the midst of economic struggles or rigorous job hunts, he can still serve as the provider of emotional support and give the woman he loves the sense of security she has longed for.
While she also insists that boundaries and limitations are put in place, it’s important that your breaking point is based on his efforts as a partner in the relationship and not based on his current circumstances.
In our fantastical journeys to find the Jay-Z to our Beyonce or the Barack to our Michelle, it can be easy to forget that at one point even these great men faced hardships and struggles. Every person does.
It’s the effort to remove himself from troubling circumstances that is key.
After all, that’s when you may discover how much of a fighter your partner really is.
The tenacity to fight back and create an economic empire in the midst of a racially biased country takes the type of courage and strength that only the most honorable of knights may possess.
In the midst of the battle to improve his own life, as well as yours, he may just need a beautiful partner who can help him truly understand that although he’s up against an ancient beast, he can still come out victorious.
All the while, a woman must remember that the “key to a successful relationship is mutual benefit.” Even without financial stability or while dealing with personal hardships, it’s still very possible for a man to serve as a positive part of a woman’s life. If he is no longer able to provide that in the relationship, however, it may be time for both parties to move on.
Other tips from Drayton include always showing respect for your partner and being open to redefining what a “man’s role” should be.
This is by no means a call for women to lower their standards, but it’s simply a reminder that not every depiction of a genuinely happy Black family will look like the Huxtables.
And yet...I didn’t read ONE WORD about this ‘situation’ being laid at the feet of Democrat policies and their penchant for enslaving the poor, the black, various and sundry minorities, the elderly, the infirm and anyone ELSE they can snare in their evil web of lies!
Color me surprised! Not. *SMIRK*
” Perhaps two of the most emphasized of these roles are the protector and the provider.”
For some reason, that line made me laugh.
How can one be a provider for his partner and family when he is suddenly placed in a position where it has become difficult to even protect himself?
Due to the Black Lives Matter Movement, suddenly black male providers are in danger for their lives????
How do brains get this tangled?
This has got to be satire.
In reality the role appears to be, have as many kids as possible by as many different women as possible.
Don't worry about providing for them, Obama, his predecessor , and successor, via the taxpayers will handle that.
That's in correlation to black men dating white women.
A lot of black men CANNOT STAND being with a black women. They are constantly being told they're no good, worthless, etc.
BAR — Black Alternate Reality.
"Barry, the garbage man's here."
"Good. Tell him to leave two cans!"
Yes, you are 100% right about that.
If you are having trouble getting something accomplished, maybe you are doing it the wrong way.
If you follow the footsteps of someone who has been successful, you have a better chance of being success yourself.
If you follow the footsteps of people that have wrecked their lives, you have a good chance you also will wreck your life.
All too often, the role black men play in the lives of black women is “absent” as soon as the orgasm is over.
What garbage! This is the most diverse country on earth. Stop living in the past! Even if it were true Ovomit did more to make it that way than the KKK.
“Perhaps two of the most emphasized of these roles are the protector and the provider. “
No, in modern America, the main role is “Baby Daddy”. Hat’s off to the black men I know who DO take fatherhood seriously - and there are a number. But in popular culture? Sorry...
Whereas, white men are already used to that treatment from white women...so it's no big deal. :)
What? Obviously “fantastical” as used here is the antonym of “realistical”.
“How can one be a provider for his partner and family when he is suddenly placed in a position where it has become difficult to even protect himself?”
Stopped reading right there.
Another load of crap.
Protector and provider?
How about Sperm Donor and Booty Caller.
That is one funny a$$ pic.
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