Posted on 03/12/2015 6:54:19 AM PDT by SeekAndFind
If youre a man who smiles at women and makes an effort to be kind to them, youre probably an insidious and treacherous sexist, according to a study conducted by researchers from Northeastern University in Boston.
Seriously.
After observing 27 people playing Trivial Pursuit, the researchers determined that these kind of behaviors previously known as chivalry were actually signs of whats called benevolent sexism.
In other words: Men who think that women deserve to be treated well often also think that women should be treated particularly well because theyre women. This, they explain, perpetuates gender inequality. Offering your jacket to a shivering women isnt helping her its hurting her by perpetuating the patriarchal idea that a woman is more likely to be cold than you are just because shes a woman.
Other warning signs of benevolent sexism include being friendly and chatty to women which head researcher Jin Goh said is in some ways worse than being mean and/or straight up ignoring them:
Sexism can appear very friendly and very welcoming, so in the paper we said that sexism can act like a wolf in sheeps clothing, Goh said, according to an article in the Washington Post. We add that sexism can consciously or unconsciously cloak itself in friendliness, so in a way its more insidious and treacherous than hostile sexism.
If you still dont believe that nice guys are just sexist pigs in sheeps clothing, check out some of their responses to questions on a test distributed by the researchers. They actually said things like Women should be rescued from a sinking ship before men and A good woman should be set on a pedestal by her man. Whoa!
See, heres the thing I totally do want to be rescued from a sinking ship first, and Id immediately break up with anyone who didnt set me on a pedestal. Whats so wrong with that?
Well, according to another one of the researchers, whats wrong is that I actually dont want those things for myself. Im just too mesmerized by the tricks of benevolent sexists to realize that the chivalrous treatment I think I enjoy is actually oppressing me:
These supposed gestures of good faith may entice women to accept the status quo in society because sexism literally looks welcoming, appealing and harmless, researcher and professor Judith Hall said, according to an article in the Independent.
Well, Hall youve got me there. Not having to drown to death on the Titanic does sound appealing to me. As does being asked if I want a coat when Im shivering, especially considering the fact that it is literally scientifically true that women are more likely to feel colder than men. These are nice things; I appreciate them, and whats really hurting me are articles like this that make men too reluctant to do them. (For example: I do wish a man would have helped me with my giant suitcase before it knocked me over as I was trying to drag it down the stairs by myself at a Duane Reade.)
I do agree that our society needs to view women as human beings who are just as valuable as men, and that we are in many ways not there yet but I dont see how lambasting both mean and nice behavior as sexist is going to solve anything. To suggest that I should be critical of men who listen to me when I talk is so completely backwards that its actually idiotic. I do appreciate these polite (and often clearly practical) gestures of good faith and its not very feminist to tell me how I should want to be treated.
Katherine Timpf is a reporter for National Review Online.
Sorry to hear about your son. Hopefully he moves on to better places and good luck to him and I od not envy him.
If I got divorced today I would not bother dating.
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