Posted on 03/09/2015 3:47:59 PM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum
my kids are all in top classes with honor rolls since they started school and yet there is a family we know who put their kids into another school for the so called gifted program. Trust me this kid is not gifted at all, but it sounds good.
Took my kids to a trailer park and then to a place with million dollar houses.
I asked them after when we got home where they would like to live and of course they chose the nice homes.
I told them and still do every day if they want that they have to work hard . They do
We used to call this being “spoiled brats.” There’s a difference between being supportive and enabling egotism. Some things kids do aren’t worthy of praise. And only in Lake Wobegon is everyone above average.
My mother always told me I was above all that.
Very True.
Here are two very good papers by John Gatto on it:
Sorry, I can’t imagine telling any of my kids they’re superior to other kids. Praise their efforts, yes, but not tell them in any way that they are “better” than or “superior to” others.
I raised my kids by the Fred Sanford model.
You big dummy!
They are idiots.
Of course you teach your kids that they are special. They are unique. They have special gifts. And if they apply themselves they can be great.
But you also teach them that their abilities are gifts from God, and that their abilities don’t make them better than anyone else. That God judges the things of the heart. And it’s the heart that they should work on.
My daughter scored 35 on the ACT. She’s Brilliant. My son hasn’t taken the test yet. He’s brilliant too. And they both are good kind kids. I’ve been blessed.
So much for my success with the ladies in High School.... :(
“my kids are all in top classes with honor rolls since they started school and yet there is a family we know who put their kids into another school for the so called gifted program. Trust me this kid is not gifted at all, but it sounds good.”
Well done.
Mine got good grades when they felt like it lol.
As they got older they figured out that when they felt like it, their lives were just a bit easier.
I also worked on getting them to care about what they were doing because if they were doing it then understanding and caring about it mattered.
The gifted kids largely seemed to be like trained seals. They didn’t really have any passion or understanding of the thing they were supposed to be gifted at.
More of a jumping through the hoop to get a fish kind of thing.
Yup. We’ve been saying this for YEARS!!! A decade or two...maybe three? And here we are... the roosters have come home to roost.
Pseudo-self-esteem, an irrational pretense of self value, is a neurotic device to diminish anxiety and provide a spurious sense of security - to assuage a man's need of authentic self-esteem while allowing the real causes of its lack to be evaded.
“That happens a lot. Precocious physical maturity is mistaken for exceptional talent, and people are fooled.”
I remember that from my own teenage years.
I wasn’t an athlete but in my small hometown the star athletes has an unrealistic sense of their own abilities.
I knew several that got scholarships to small colleges and couldn’t cut it.
Sadly most of those didn’t finish with their education. They really thought they were going to be pro athletes.
From the terrific movie,”Whiplash”.
“There are no two words in the English language more harmful than ‘ good job’.”
So true. I saw two 3 year olds on a see-saw once and the mother kept saying,”Good job,kids”.
Good job? For playing on a see-saw?
.
Agree with all of that.
Many parents heap way too much praise on their kids. Watching soccer where my youngest plays is a joke when to comes ot some parents. There are kids who actually think they are brilliant at the sport and yet when I tell tem that mine went to nationals twice and with a pro team from England they make excuses.
Sad part is that my kid got placed in an older age group to challenge him and he is the smallest there and yet these kids he plays with who are two years older think they are just as good.
\I don’t care because I always tell my kids that you have to challenge yourself and let others think what they want.
As my kids especially my youngest aged 12 , well I tell him not to be cocky, as there is room for improvement and if they do wrong I tell them that, if they do good I tell them that . If he falls down I tell him to get him unless he is really hurt.
“We do NOT believe in self esteem in this house…we believe in results.” good on you and him... results, there is NO substitute
I don’t know about other areas of the country, but where we live, at least when my kids were in school, they had to test into the gifted/talented program (called GT here). There were both school-based GT programs and GT centers for exceptional students.
At the school based programs, a kid could be in the math GT but not English, or vice versa. His/her GT enrollment tied into the areas where s/he was more advanced.
The GT center programs had the exceptionally intellectually gifted students. The minimum IQ score was 140. The advantage of placing all the exceptionally bright kids together was that they were able to accelerate together at the same speed. There wasn’t a class with one or two 140+ IQ kids being held back to accommodate the kids with an IQ of 100 +/- .
An advantage of having all the kids in the class being roughly equally gifted is that none of them felt all that bright compared to his/her peers. The GT programs were actually an equalizer. Another was that by high school they were ready for the AP classes, and were really well qualified for any college in the country. Their academic skills had been well honed.
When you’re dealing with kids at that intellectual level, the others just aren’t going to catch up with them intellectually. It’s not comparable to some kids growing faster or achieving athletic prowess sooner than others.
It’s not for everyone, but I think it’s as important for exceptionally bright kids to have a proper learning environment that encourages them to move higher, faster as it is for an intellectually challenged youngster to have accommodations to his/her needs. They’re just opposite ends of the spectrum with specialized learning environment needs.
Good job? For playing on a see-saw?and there it is...
“Many parents heap way too much praise on their kids. Watching soccer where my youngest plays is a joke when to comes ot some parents. There are kids who actually think they are brilliant at the sport and yet when I tell tem that mine went to nationals twice and with a pro team from England they make excuses.
Sad part is that my kid got placed in an older age group to challenge him and he is the smallest there and yet these kids he plays with who are two years older think they are just as good.
\I don’t care because I always tell my kids that you have to challenge yourself and let others think what they want.As my kids especially my youngest aged 12 , well I tell him not to be cocky, as there is room for improvement and if they do wrong I tell them that, if they do good I tell them that . If he falls down I tell him to get him unless he is really hurt.”
I tried to teach mine to understand and master their skills. Don’t worry about the competition and don’t worry about who gets a trophy.
As far as your youngest being a bit cocky sometimes. That really is a part of any group dynamic and a little bit of that can be a big help especially in sports where a pecking order comes into play.
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