Yes, we can! Students to hurl canned food at intruders.

The Peoples Cube ^ | 1/14/2015 | Olga Photoshopova

[HammerT]

Ladies and Gentlemen, we should Canonize the sheer genius who developed this incantation.

It is a prime example of every American’s Can-do attitude.

However, can we consider the implications of this?

We Cannot dismiss the ‘cannotations’ going Forward with this being a candidate for future chicanery with this?

Some will say I should just can the malarkey and ‘move-on’ but I say no.

Can we ignore the threat of Assault Cans?

What about high capacity can clip magazines?

Not to mention the subject of gun mufflers.. ahem

[blackdog]

Uhmmmmmmmmm, schools use #10 cans in it’s food supply chains. How is a kid going to throw a ten pound can of green beans at a would be gunman?

[Texas Eagle]

Obviously a marketing ploy by the good people at Progresso.

[Kenton]

It would never work, the kids would use the food in the cans to supplement the starvation diets they get at schools.

[UCANSEE2]

This will only work if the gunman forces all the children into the cafeteria supply room.

[MrB]

Will this work if you're attacked with a banana?

[PIF]

Obviously we need to ban cans ... pry those cans from the kids warmish pinkish fingers ... Bad cans are everywhere! Stop them before they kill everyone!

[PGR88]

Why waste food?

Just store rocks.

[UCANSEE2]

How is a kid going to throw a ten pound can of green beans at a would be gunman?

Maybe the kids could build these as a science project.

[MrB]

Oh, that’s easily solved.
Just make sure the cans are of beets or spinach.

[blackdog]

This will only work if the gunman forces all the children into the cafeteria supply room.

And they manage to climb into the ceiling with #10 cans, then drop them onto the gunma's head.

[blackdog]

Someone at DHS watched that Crocodile Dundee movie again.

[Paine in the Neck]

Uhmmmmmmmmm, schools use #10 cans in it’s food supply chains. How is a kid going to throw a ten pound can of green beans at a would be gunman?

A letter went home to parents encouraging them to have the children bring in throwable-sized cans. Seriously.

[WKUHilltopper]

The stupidity of these ignorant idiots never cease to amaze me.

[blackdog]

“Now children, this year’s food drive for the needy also includes our perimeter defenses, so make sure you bring in lot’s of canned goods. No beets or tomato sauce though, that might confuse the EMT’s in the event of macro-aggression. Bags of bread stuffing and cake mixes are good though for soaking up body fluids.”

[null and void]

I blame the peacenik CANadians...

[Klemper]

HE HATES THESE CANS!!!

[blackdog]

All kidding aside, a CD snapped in half can slit a throat with one swipe. It even has a hold grip spot in the middle. Always carry a few when flying commercial in your carry on.

[MrB]

Ironic that their stupidity stems from their absolute conviction that they know better.

[HammerT]

Betting you they would make sure it’s cans of ‘healthy food’ just in case.

Besides, they could just mandate “Universal” background checks on can openers.

Can you imagine that?