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To: thackney
UNIFIED CONSPIRACY THEORY:

In 1908, an alien spacecraft exploded at Tunguska, Russia;

The Roswell alien spacecraft was a rescue mission for the Tunguska crash, but it fell through a wormhole and crashed in the New Mexico desert 39 years later;

A piece of alien technology from the Roswell crash was discovered by a teenager named Elvis Presley;

Presley turned it over to the Nazi scientists of Operation Paperclip (Presley was placed in a government relocation program in Memphis, TN, where he promptly blew cover);

The Nazi scientists reverse-engineered the alien technology and developed the Internet, GMO's, fracking and chemtrail technology, which in turn sucks our precious bodily fluids from the atmosphere and provides power for the HAARP array;

The HAARP array destroyed the Twin Towers and the Pentagon on the order of George W. Bush, who personally detonated them from his secret Skull and Bones man-cave beneath the campus of UT-Austin.

There, it all makes sense, Mulder and Scully were right, The Truth Is Out There, man!

2 posted on 12/24/2014 5:03:06 AM PST by Old Sarge (Its the Sixties all over again, but with crappy music...)
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To: Old Sarge

Oh, okay. That does make a lot of sense.


3 posted on 12/24/2014 5:05:03 AM PST by thackney (life is fragile, handle with prayer.)
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To: Old Sarge

Sorry Sarge. No conspiracy theory worth it’s salt would have failed to mention the role played by Queen Elizabeth or the Buildaburgers.


4 posted on 12/24/2014 5:12:04 AM PST by DugwayDuke (Principles without power aren't worth spit.)
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To: Old Sarge
You forgot the Freemasons!

Or did you? < cue spooky music>

5 posted on 12/24/2014 5:14:58 AM PST by uglybiker (nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-BATMAN!)
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To: Old Sarge
That's it. You've been listening to way too much Coast to Coast AM lately....
9 posted on 12/24/2014 5:35:16 AM PST by RayChuang88 (Ferguson: put your hands down and go to work!)
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To: Old Sarge

The Red Scare should have been add as I.V. Lenin VI (clone) helped with a special sound wave generator (the sub-harmonic algorithm is made from the Tammy Wynette song “Stand by Your Man”) to mind control the masses into buying high priced non-GMO, rain forest protected, fair trade coffee from dolphin free companies to support world saving environmental plans for total domination.

*Sound wave sample can be heard in the Bond movie “Golden Eye”


12 posted on 12/24/2014 6:05:27 AM PST by Liaison (qwesa)
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To: Old Sarge

Sarge, that’s just the version the Illuminati put out to take the heat off of themselves...


13 posted on 12/24/2014 6:19:38 AM PST by Smokin' Joe (How often God must weep at humans' folly. Stand fast. God knows what He is doing.)
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To: Old Sarge
"Weird Al" Yankovic - Foil


16 posted on 12/24/2014 6:35:36 AM PST by Joe 6-pack (Qui me amat, amat et canem meum.)
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To: Old Sarge

You also forgot that George H.W. Bush had JFK killed because the Industrial War complex wanted the US to continue the Vietnam War(where John Kerry served). They installed Lyndon Johnson(another evil Texan)who increased the war effort and made everyone rich at the expense of the poor African American man.


17 posted on 12/24/2014 6:39:12 AM PST by woodbutcher1963
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To: Old Sarge

Now I get it. Thanks for explaining that.


21 posted on 12/24/2014 1:57:34 PM PST by rdl6989
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