"Whereas guilty parties often hire lawyers, and whereas these lawyers often get the guilty off on technical legal points, BE IT HEREBY KNOWN that the hiring of a lawyer, or any attempt to personally defend against an accusation, is prima facia evidence of guilt of the crime being so accused. As this is an attempt to subvert the legal system, any use of a lawyer, or any attempt to personally defend against an accusation, is a Class C Felony, punishable by no less than three and no more than ten years incarceration, and the imposition of a 10,000 dollar fine."
John Semmens would approve.