You rolled your bloated body, led by a flabby gut that looks like the underbelly of a blowfish, out of bed again this morning, head throbbing from sucking down too much cheap hooch last night.
As you staggered around in your tattered undershorts, wiped your rheumy eyes, and ran your nicotine stained fingers through what little hair remains on your head, you were again reminded of how little time remained for you in this life.
As usual, such thoughts brought back the rage you feel about why your life has never been what you expected of it, and more importantly to you, just who is responsible for your failings.
Refusing to acknowledge your own responsibility, you have spent your life running away from things. You even ran away from your country of birth -- America, always seeking a “better” place to live – eventually landing in the Philippines.
But the fact that you have to rely on Social Security payments from your country of birth to live there continued to feed your rage at life and all those who were, in your mind, responsible for your failures.
During one of your “bored with life” days You decided to join the FreeRepublic forum as a “pretend” Patriotic American, only to be outed within just a few posts. Unfortunately for you, pretender Patriots are quickly recognized by FReepers for what they are.
Your “Great Life” in the Philippines that you espoused on FR of course really wasn’t, just as all the other countries you fled to before the Philippines weren’t either.
You found yourself spending more and more time on FR, both yearning for good old America, and at the same time, still hating it and those who supported it.
So, you spent your days and nights reading FR and looking for spots to snark, troll, and generally show all that you “really, really” were glad to not be in America any more – though, of course, you refused to renounce your American citizenship.
And then, today it all came to a head. There in front of you was a thread on FR, addressing rioting in Ferguson, Missouri. And it was the perfect opportunity for you to point out one of the reasons that your life was a miserable failure – Blacks!
Yes, yes, you had to say it, because it was true! They caused most, if not all, of the problems in your sad and nearing-the-end life, and it needed to be said loudly and firmly.
After you typed in your stoopid comment, you sat back in your LazyBoy knockoff easy chair (that you got for one-quarter the price of a real LazyBoy chair in America) and smiled. It needed to be said, right? And if it provided the Lefties with ammunition against FR, well, what’s the problem in that, right?
As you waited in front of your “I got it cheaper” computer for the praise and huzzahs your comment rightly deserved, something strange happened.
The Zot came right up through the bottom of that fake LazyBoy chair and fiercely burnt your tush while your FR account went up in smoke!
Your “low cost” maid came rushing in, to find you laying face down on the floor, after being blown clear out of the chair. Your tattered shorts were now smoldering and your massive exposed posterior was now permanently BLACKENED (and your maid will be sure to, mirthfully, let everyone in town know about it).
Oh yea, AlexW, feel free to fill out and submit the attached ButtHurt form. It will be given the consideration it deserves.
LOL