Family says Tampa church canceled funeral because son was gay

Julie Atwood was standing at her son's casket when the phone rang. The church where her son's funeral was scheduled to be held the next day decided to abruptly cancel the service, after the pastor learned the deceased was gay and his obituary listed a surviving "husband."

Atwood said she was told it would be "blasphemous" to hold the services at the church because her son, Julion Evans, 42, was gay.

"It was devastating," she said. "I did feel like he was being denied the dignity of death."

Evans' husband, Kendall Capers, says the pair were partners for 17 years and married last year in Maryland. Evans died at home after a 4-year battle with a rare illness called Amyloidosis, which destroys organs in the body.

He says the obituary named him as "husband," and that their marriage was no secret.

"Everyone who knew us knew about our relationship," he said. "We didn't keep secrets."

The family asked for Evans' funeral to be held at New Hope Missionary Baptist Church in Tampa.

Atwood, Evans' mother, says she was baptized at the church as a child and several of her family members still attend. Atwood's current pastor agreed to preach the funeral, but they needed a large church, like New Hope, to accommodate hundreds of mourners from across the country. New Hope agreed and the service was scheduled for July 26.

T.W. Jenkins, pastor at New Hope says was not aware of that Evans had a husband or was gay until members of his congregation saw the obit and called to complain. They did not think it was right to have the funeral at their church.

"Based on our preaching of the scripture, we would have been in error to allow the service in our church," Jenkins said. "I'm not trying to condemn anyone's lifestyle, but at the same time, I am a man of God, and I have to stand up for my principles."

Because of the late change of plans, Evans' family scrambled to make new funeral arrangements, with less than 24 hours to prepare. They were unable to notify everyone, though, and some mourners showed up at the church and missed the funeral.

Capers said that was the worst part. He wanted the funeral held in a church but said he would have understood the church's position. But to cancel during his husband's wake, he said, was “disrespectful” and “wrong.”

"This is 2014, this is not the 60s or the 70s,” Capers said. “So at the end of the day I just want his wrong-doing to be exposed.”

By not holding a funeral for this man, the pastor is showing a very unforgiving, judgmental attitude.

No, that is not so. He is only reflecting the very unforgiving, judgmental attitude that God shows all humans who reject the only offer He has for redeeming those whose habitual lifestyle has been in practicing sinful living in direct defiance to what the pastor preaches and the congregation sustains. That offer is confession, repentance, and abandonment of self, of Sin as a a Master and life style, as well as rebuffing the world system as their standard for behaviors.

You are asking the pastor and the congregation to give the deportment of the deceased an exit stamp of approval, and his relatives a vote of affirmation, when the church assembly cannot conscientiously do so. (Had the family of the deceased been a regular committed part of the cogregation, the pastor might have cut a little slack, if in any case he could still preach a gospel of salvation for the living. But, from the article, it appears they were not.)

Of course all members of the congregation can, and do themselves admittedly slip from time to time. But their process of dealing with that slippage is compliance through confession and repentance, and abandoning ungodly conduct. A continual, ongoing, God-fearing life style is the path to fellowship with God ging on, not just repeating their errors.

Spitting in God's Face in life through sodomy, and thus openly shaming the modest behavior of one's fellowmen/women, is a preferred mode of those with the unnatural bent, and is not the best basis for demanding that the church nave be the celestial departure gate, with the next stop being Sheol rather than Paradise. There are plenty of funeral homes that provide space for entertaining the bereaved in such a case.

The argument is that the relatives want to play the game of "Let's pretend." Honest Christians won't participate when they have to ignore the doctrines on which they live, and also die, in order to play the "He was a nice, loving guy" game.

It's exactly at funeral time, when the test is over after which the marks will be given out, that the message of salvation for the lost kin comes into sharp focus for those remaining, when it is recognized that the determinedly lost, unrepentant child, brother, father, or uncle has finally passed the point of no hope and no return. His demise and future abode should be formally acknowledged, confessed, and wept over, but rejected as a model of one's own behavior going forward.

Rejecting God and His people in life; rejected by God and His people in death. It is deeply sad, but an object lesson needing to be taught.

You need to have some compassion for the pastor who has to deliver this decision to the surviving family. You think he likes to have to do this?

The seems to be quite bit of judging going on here by my fellow Christians

Ok, this "who are we to judge?" BS needs to stop. Standing up and pointing out clearly written scripture is not "judging".

Let me ask you a question: if a man came to you and asked you, "Will I go to hell if I am an unrepentant homosexual? " Would your answer be "who am I to judge?" Because if you were to say that, not only would you be ignoring scripture and thus failing to guide this man away from eternal hell, but you would be denying scripture, itself, denying the very Word of God and pretending not to know what is clearly said BY GOD. This would be no different than denying that you know Jesus 3 times before the cock crows. Not only would you be placing that man at eternal risk through your lie, or cowardice, or desire to be "cool", but you would place your own soul at risk for denying the Word you already know

It’s our job to deliver the good news. What they do with it is Gods problem, not ours. It’s not for us to deliver the hell, fire and brimstone. It’s our job to simply present who God is by the life that WE lead and the love that WE give.

In bible times the law was that you couldn’t work on the Sabbath day. So what did Jesus do? He worked on the Sabbath day. And what man would not rescue a lost sheep if he fell into the Water Well on the Sabbath. So what laws are we demanding of people? Who among us can throw the first Rock at the adulteress? Who are we to judge another persons repentance towards God?

God loves the world so much that even while we were still sinners he gave his only son in exchange for our eternal lives.

That’s the good news, so spread it.
In these harsh times it’s hard enough to just deliver that without trying to notch up your bible.

And to answer your question more directly: I don’t know...

Maybe just share with him the burden that he’s lost a human being that he loved. That’s enough to melt the stony heart.

That’s how I’d do it anyway.

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