SPOT ON! There were many, MANY, southern military that said the very same thing.
My grt gramps gave acreage to southern soldiers that came up north to find work after they were pardoned at Vicksburg. They stayed and prospered.
Joe Johnston went to Shermans funeral and died a few days later. Lee said that in all history, he could not find a general like that of Grant. And that from Lee. These four men, held the union together after it was over since there were those in the administration, after Lincoln was killed, who wanted blood. I believe Grant would have instigated a coup if they persisted. He said it was over, end of story.
After the war Joe Johnston worked as both an insurance and railroad executive and served a term in Congress. He became close friends with both Grant and Sherman—his main antagonists in the war. Johnston was a pallbearer at Sherman's funeral which took place in the rain. As the story goes, Johnston removed his hat at the graveside despite the rain saying Sherman would have shown him the same respect had their roles been reversed. Within a few days he contracted pneumonia and died.
There’s also the story of how Robert E. Lee intervened when a black man wanted to take the sacrament. The preacher and the congregation balked, but Lee got up and stood with him. How rare a man.