Nah, wrong lesson.
Put on robes and wear a towel on your head.
Hell, you could have 273 guns sitting on the front seat, and not a one of those officers would jump to any conclusions then.
You could have a fully automatic AK-47 there, and they still wouldn’t dare say anything.
That bad up there- uh?...probably the reason why I don’t travel to that part of the nation...Last time i went through was in 2008 coming home from Iraq and had to fly into JFK - a bunch of Moslems ran towards me trying to grab my bags - and I verbally told them to back the hell up - and saw an Italian Catholic driver as he was laughing watching me...he hooked me up with a ride over to Laguardia Airport...apparently that’s a common thing in the airport!
I think you might be thinking of the movie ‘Airplane’.