sorry his wife and children were Loyalists 20 years later...
Your family sounds a bit like mine. As I mentioned, my 5th great-grandfather is listed in the DAR Patriot Index. A son, who served under him in the Duchess Co. (NY) Militia, left the U.S. after the Revolutionary War, and moved to Canada. His father wrote him out of the Will. He eventually married the daughter of a Loyalist who had also moved to Canada, although I don't know if her family moved there before or after the war. Thus, my mother was born in Canada. My father was born in Holland, and came to this country in 1912 with his parents and brothers. For years I assumed I was a first generation American, but with my mother's ancestors having settled in NY from England originally, then moving to Canada, I don't know if the first-generation term fits. I was born in Rochester, NY.