I’ve thought about this over the years. I don’t believe that homosexual attraction is something one is born with. I’ve known one person in my life whom I think was probably of that persuasion as a young child. My kids referred to him with female pronouns and that was when they were three and four years old. I’ve been involved through my husband and kids with a lot of the music and theater culture. So I’ve known a lot of people who have made that choice. So I think it’s a choice. But I also think that there are a lot of bad choices right now that the 20 and 30 somethings are making. So if one of my children came to me with this declaration I would tell him/her that in my opinion it was a poor choice and not a good way to find the way to salvation. I would then ask when he/she would be at the Easter brunch and that he/she could invite a friend. I can only remember one time when a guest engaged in inappropriate PDA in my home and that was my former business partner and his skanky girlfriend. Did I mention “former”?
So in other words, I’m pretty sure such a “coming out” would not change my mind or my heart but I haven’t banished any family members so far because of poor choices so I don’t think I would start. When I last saw a long time friend and his boyfriend, I told them “God bless you both and take care of each other.” Now in my opinion, a blessing from God will help each move away from this attraction but that’s up to Him.
I passed off as “feminine” for a lot of my childhood, got derided, and so on. But I did turn out to be a very capable husband, after a while. I think part of it, was they mistook my social awkwardness from trying to deal with Asperger’s Syndrome as something that was homosexual attraction, anyways, I do feel that the causality for same-sex attraction is complicated and may actually vary from person to person.
I do feel that some people may have a stronger likelihood for developing attraction to the same gender based on early developmental factors, but that’s just my speculation.
“Born that way” was never a good argument, in my view. Most of us, myself especially, were “born” selfish, self-centered and with the desire to benefit ourselves as fully as possible, with no regard for the “rights” of others. That’s why one of the words you hear from toddlers most is “mine.” As we grow older, we find out we are “born” to lie if it serves our immediate purpose, to steal if no one is looking, and to do all manner of things that give us pleasure. Do these tendencies make the behavior acceptable?
Of course not. We are taught not to take things from others, to tell the truth, to have good manners, etc. So some things we are “born” to do must not be done in order to fit into society.
Is being gay one of those things? THAT is a fair question; but to say that being gay is acceptable because one is “born that way” is a terribly weak argument.