P.J. O'Rourke: Dear Mr. President, Zero-Sum Doesn't Add Up

Wall Street Journal ^ | December 27, 2012 | P.J. O'Rourke

[neverdem]

Is life like a pizza, where if some people have too many slices, other people have to eat the pizza box?

Given that hypocrisy is an important part of diplomacy, and diplomacy is necessary to foreign policy, allow me to congratulate you on winning a second term.

I wish I could also congratulate you on your conduct of international affairs. I do thank you for killing Osama bin Laden. It was a creditable action for which you deserve some of the credit you've been given. Of course the intelligence was gathered, and the mission was undertaken, by men and women who, although they answer to your command, answer to duty first. And it is difficult to imagine any president of the United States who, under the circumstances, wouldn't have ordered the strike against bin Laden. Although there is Jimmy Carter. Thank you for not being Jimmy Carter.

But even though it violates the insincere amity that creates a period of calm following national elections, no thank you for the following, and it is only a partial list:

• Telling the Taliban to play by the rules or you'll take your ball and go home;

• Leaving Iraq in a lurch (and in a hurry);

• Watching the EU go down the sink drain and into the Greece trap and wanting to take America along on the trip;

• Miscalculating human rights and strategic engagement in the Chinese arithmetic of your China policy;

• Being the personification of bad weather during the Arab Spring with your chilly response when you encountered its best aspects and your frozen inaction when you encountered its worst;

• Playing with Russian nesting dolls, opening hollow figurine after hollow figurine hoping to find one that doesn't look like Vladimir Putin;

• Sitting and doing nothing like...

[Tax-chick]

a political policy of sneaking in America's back door, swiping a laptop, going around to the front door, ringing the bell, and announcing, "Free computer equipment for all school children!"

Ack, good one!

[mc5cents]

I love P.J.! So many good books. Eat The Rich is one of my favorites. Read it in one afternoon sitting by the pool while on vacation. Couldn’t put it down and got a sunburn! (No kidding)

[ArGee]

Western Europe has done such a good job redistributing its assets that the European Union now has a Spanish economy, a Swedish foreign policy, an Italian army, and Irish gigolos.

Wow!

[VRW Conspirator]

PJR bump

[bitt]

ping!

[bitt]

ping!

[Marine_Uncle]

But doesn’t PJ understand. This president has a fundamental mission to radically change America. Sarc off.

[BOBTHENAILER]

PJ is just too cool. Read that article in the WSJ when it hit my mail box. The WSJ continues to have the very best articles, editorials, etc. IBD is right up there with them.

Thanks for the ping to this.

[Mr. K]

PJ's “A Parliament of Whores” should be a MUST READ for all freepers, and should be mandatory in college

It is the single best explanation of the worst of the government, and so funny you will laugh out loud frequently and often.

Anyone who has read it should remember the line “...I will never forget the look on that cows’ face” as he described a farmer doing to the cow what the government does to the American people.

[BOBTHENAILER]

Thanks for the heads up. I haven’t read that one, but going to grab it on my Kindle right now.

[GOPJ]

Most interesting post of the year. Thoughtful stuff, neverdem. Thanks.

[Mr. K]

I hope you like it- it is my favorite book of all time