My husband and I raised two special needs children with mental health issues. We did the best that we could with what we knew at the time. I’m sure we could have done a better job. They are doing well now thank the Lord. But remember the phrase, “there but for the grace of God go I” before you start analyzing the childhood and judging the parents.
“My husband and I raised two special needs children with mental health issues.”
I am not a judgmental person, and that is precisely why I wrote what I wrote. I admire that you and your husband worked hard as parents, and I embrace the very accurate sentiment that ‘but for the grace of God there go I’. That said, there are plenty out there who are way too quick to blame each child for the problems that they have in life - as though parenting has no role. Nothing could be further from the truth. Parenting has a huge role, and there are many, many children who never get what they deserve and need from their parents. This is especially problematic in our ‘me first’ narcissistic society. There are also parents who are ‘crazy making’ parents. These are the people who give outward appearances that they are loving and nurturing, but who are in reality extremely damaging parents - and also tell their children that all their problems and unhappiness, essentially everything, is their own fault. If as a parent you put your children before yourself, and give your best, but make mistakes (as we all do), that is acceptable as part of life. But if you can never admit you are wrong, and have no appreciation for the unique individuals your children are, each with their own needs and dreams, then you can be a very big negative in their lives.
I make tons of mistakes, and I pray that I don’t make really hurtful big ones.