Posted on 12/14/2012 5:29:50 AM PST by Kaslin
Chivalry is back in the news. The always-alert Charles Murray of the American Enterprise Institute draws our attention to an item in the Psychology of Women Quarterly. A new study on what the authors are pleased to call "benevolent sexism" (which, as Murray translates, seems to mean gentlemanly behavior) found that both women and men are happier when men behave like gentlemen.
This being a sociological publication, though, the findings are not written in English, but rather in academic argot. It's full of sentences like this: "A structural equation model revealed that benevolent sexism was positively associated with diffuse system justification within a sample of 274 college women and 111 college men."
If you spend more than $100,000 on an undergraduate and graduate education in women's studies, you can learn to be this impenetrable, too.
The authors of the study were quick to warn readers about what they'd discovered. "Our findings reinforce the dangerous nature of benevolent sexism and emphasize the need for interventions to reduce its prevalence." Right. Though it seems to increase the life satisfaction of both sexes, it must still be eradicated.
When feminists set out to remake the sexes back in the 1970s, they seemed to choose all the wrong traits to emulate and/or eliminate. Women were encouraged to match the promiscuity, aggressiveness, and irresponsibility of men. In other words, women were to model themselves on the worst men. Meanwhile, the best traits of traditional men -- specifically their most chivalrous and protective impulses -- were to be maligned, mocked, and resented.
Still dancing on Mitt Romney's political grave, feminist writer Gina Barreca told the Washington Post's Gene Weingarten that Romney would be a "terrible, terrible date." (Leave it to a feminist who wants women to be taken seriously to evaluate a presidential candidate as a potential date.) Why? Because he'd be chivalrous. "Chivalry is the opposite of good manners. It's infantilizing. It's contempt masquerading as politeness. The chivalrous guy is establishing roles; he is the protector, you are Limoges. Your job is to let him be masterful. In my experience, when you are standing on a pedestal, there's not much room to move around. That's by design."
Emily Esfahani Smith isn't buying the chivalry as disguised power grab line. Writing in the Atlantic, she notes (as Rich Lowry has highlighted) the contrast between the Titanic and the Costa Concordia -- two sinkings 100 years apart. Three quarters of the women on the Titanic survived, while three quarters of the men died. In 1912, men would have been ashamed of themselves if they failed to protect women -- even at the cost of their lives. Was that just "contempt masquerading as politeness"? On the Costa Concordia, early in 2012, men shoved women aside to get into the lifeboats. Oh well, at least the women had more room to move around than on that darn pedestal.
Smith reminds us that chivalry arose in response to the violence and barbarism of the Middle Ages. "It cautioned men to temper their aggression, deploying it only in appropriate circumstances -- like to protect the physically weak and defenseless members of society." Obviously many men failed to fulfill the ideal. We've always had boorish behavior. But wasn't it preferable to label boorish behavior as such, rather than celebrate it as a victory for sexual equality?
The chivalric code persists to this day, despite the best efforts of the feminists. When a shooter opened fire at an Aurora, Colo. movie theater, no fewer than three young men protected their girlfriends from bullets with their own bodies -- and died in the process.
Smith includes an anecdote that sums up the case for chivalry. Samuel Proctor, pastor of Harlem's Abyssinian Baptist Church, tipped his hat to a lady. She was offended and demanded, "What is that supposed to mean?"
He replied: "Madame, by tipping my hat I was telling you several things. That I would not harm you in any way. That if someone came into this elevator and threatened you, I would defend you. That if you fell ill, I would tend to you and if necessary carry you to safety. I was telling you that even though I am a man and physically stronger than you, I will treat you with both respect and solicitude. But frankly, Madame, it would have taken too much time to tell you all of that; so, instead, I just tipped my hat."
The only way to give a Buggery voter some sense:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AI-VY5cC2jk
This is what I call a teachable moment, Neanderthal style!
New rule: when south of the Potomac, I hold the door for a lady, because odds favor that she is one. North of the Potomac? I'm sure you can get thru the door while carrying all those packages...MEN do it all the time. Careful with those eggs, honey...your partner doesn't want them scrambled until TOMORROW morning.
The only way to give a Buggery voter some sense:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AI-VY5cC2jk
This is what I call a teachable moment, Neanderthal style!
Wow...I thought I was the LAST 'nut' left in this country that acted like that... :-)
It took my wife a while to get used to that 'sidewalk routine'...
I love it!!!
Typical as*hole who thought he could do what he wanted...Henry Hill showed him a thing or three.
That Corvette...SWEETNESS!!!
Yeah, even Birkenstockers and Earth Shoes. Or maybe she wore Viet Cong sandals back then.
There are a few things I am trying hard to keep.
I try to take off my hat when I enter a public building.
I believe that a handshake can still be a window into someone’s character (though not in isolation)
I believe in “Please”, “Thank You” and “You’re Welcome”.
I make a point of opening doors for my wife...especially the car door. I think it amuses her...:)
I hold doors for everyone. I will say, though, that one thing that really frosts me is when you do hold a door open for someone, they walk through it as if they were entitled.
There’s one practice that I try my damnedest to do, but I always wind up forgetting or otherwise dropping it depending on the company I keep: standing when a woman enters the room.
There were numerous occasions when I was a teen when I was outright laughed at for standing when a woman entered the room. In many ways, high school “bred” it out of me. When our teacher would come in or any adult of stature, I would stand up from my desk out of respect. I think by halfway through my freshman year, I’d all but stopped doing it.
When I was growing up, we were required, by threat of extreme death glance by my step-father, to stand for any woman or elder who entered a room. We were not to sit before our mother sat down. We were not to sit until our elders sat. Made for very interesting dates with some girls when I was growing up. It was so “quaint” to them. For me, it was a requirement.
I pine for the old days.
Drive away and leave 'em standing there. One way or another, they won't do it again.
In which case, you are frustrating the best efforts of the professional maitre d's.
The best try to seat the ladies so that they are facing the dining area, so as to decorate their restaurant with beautiful faces.
I’ve been holding doors open for women for over 30 years., since my mid teens.
I tend to be polite and hold doors for men, the elderly. Pretty much everyone.
I’ve never encountered any problems from anyone I have ever held a door open. Never happened once, and I do it several times a day. Maybe, 1,000 times a yeat or over 35,000 times since I started.
Oh I get it. I’ll often just take the seat given regardless of position, but I keep watch over my shoulder and use mirrors and other parts of the restaurant to keep watch. I’ve been through several tactical training courses that kind of breed it into you.
My wife’s gotten to the point where she just assumes where I’ll sit and takes the opposite. One high-class restaurant we visited on vacation actually asked me to switch with the lady.
A what? What kind of restaurant are we talking about here? ;-)
That was a perfect response. As the saying goes, “Be careful what you ask for, you might get it.”
I usually go out of my way to be gentlemanly. I can’t recalle ever getting a sneer. Sometimes I get ignored, but mostly thanked.
Glad you like it.
I had a woman (term used loosely) yell at me for opening the door a few years back - I said “I would open the door for anyone so don’t feel privileged” - seconds later I thought of the dog quip but the moment had passed - still I have it in reserve.
Mel
I have taught my two sons to hold open a door for ladies and the elderly. I have also taught them that if they get a classless response from a woman for holding the door open for them to flat out tell them: “I’m sorry ma’am, my Dad taught me to hold open the door for a Lady, he didn’t teach me how to recognize your kind.” and then walk off.
And that is the reason why feminists do not understand chivalry. They incur no penalty for being rude, obnoxious, aggressive; in short, everything they purport to despise about men. That sort of wallowing in ignorance may be a lot of things, but liberation it is not.
When women and men reject the time-proved practice of chivalry, you get what I observed yesterday: a foolish guy kicked a woman “friend”/acquaintance of his in the butt. Her friends (and she) took objection - the friends were very very vocal in taking him on. I guess they weren’t so happy about seeing their friend treated as an “equal”-to-male-friends.
This was among liberal-college students.
I bet they would heartily disagree with this study.
Respect for women can not be overdone by men.
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