The conversation would go something like this.
Nope...no guns here.
I sold them.
All my ammo too.
Some guy.... a friend of a friend of a friend. Had never met him before, or since. No, I don’t know his name or anything else about him. No reason to... he had cash.
Let me see that warrant. Seems in order, and you can search to your hearts content....
I told you, I sold them all and the ammo too.
See, as I said.
“..The conversation would go something like this....”
Actually, it would go more like this:
Officer Friendly and Agent of State Accompanying:
Where are they? (once)
You: No gots ‘em.
Where are they (twice, raises rifle)
You: I told you. Ain’t got ‘em.
Where are they (grabs one of your children or your wife and places gun to their head.)
You: Hey! What the hell are you doing?
Where are they? (pulls trigger, grabs next screaming child).
If it comes to door-to-door, they ain’t worrying about warrants, or your rights, or anything else.
Do you think for one minute these animals wouldn’t hesitate to do you, your kids, your wife, and everyone in the house as an example to the rest of your recalcitrant neighbors?
And it would be because you resisted arrest, you had drugs in the house and a lot of cash, you were a white supremacist racist paramilitary extremist, etc., etc.,
Never forget who these folks are, never forget WHAT they are. They’re NOT your countrymen any longer; they’re the enemy.
AN ACTUAL CRAIG’S LIST PERSONALS AD
To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.
Date: 2011-11-27, 1:43 am. E.S.T.
I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled
the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend’s purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.
First, I’d like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn’t expect you to actually crap in your pants when
I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. my girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my 2nd tour as a Combat Marine in Afghanistan .. She had just bought me that Kimber Custom Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn’t it?!
I know it probably wasn’t fun walking back to wherever you’d come from with crap in your pants. I’m sure it
was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].
After I called your mother or “Momma” as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of
what you’d done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, — on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was extremely grateful!
I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go’s, along with all the cash in your wallet. (That
made his day!)
I then threw your wallet into the big pink “pimp mobile” that was parked at the curb ..... after I broke the
windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver’s side of the car.
Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA’s office and one to the FBI, while mentioning
President Obama as my possible target.
The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).
In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you’ve chosen to pursue in life.. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day!
Thoughtfully yours, Semper fi,
Alex