Posted on 06/16/2012 6:38:40 AM PDT by dewawi
I propose a annual "license to swim" permit in the same manner this state now requires children to have boating permits. You simply pick up an application at city hall and go to the nearest YMCA. A swimming instructor would watch you swim and sign off on your swimming abilities against an age guided chart produced by the Nanny State itself. Then you return to city hall and pay $10 for a color coded license that has to be around your neck when you go to any Minnesota lake, pool, river, or large hot tub....
Parents, guardians, uncles, aunts, friendly strangers, or any significant adult in the child's life that NEGLECT to teach the kids to swim as evidenced by those caught swimming anywhere without the license would be subject to fines no greater than $1,000 per incident and imprisonment for no more than 30 days..
While they are at it, close every roadway unless there are crossing guards all along them.
I hope you are not serious with your licensing scheme.
People have a right to swim if there is a lifeguard or not.
And I should no more need a license to swim then a license to walk.
I am sorry but life is fragile and tragedies happen. Laws and licenses will not stop them. But laws and licenses do cost us our freedom.
Look forward to seeing the fine print of the legislation, when they "think" thru the details: So, when a beech does NOT have a lifeguard, it will need a beechguard to enforce the beech being effectively closed. To let the public know where a beech is open, or is closed, is lifeguarded, or is beechguarded, some significant expenditure appropriated to map the states beeches, a task force to identify beeches, manufacturing of tens of thousands of lifeguard-on-duty signs, tens of thousands of beechguard-on-duty signs, installation of the signs, crews to remove graffiti off signs, tens of thousands of lifeguard chairs, thousands of lifeguard supervisors, departments of ALL lifeguards and beechguards (DOA-L and DOA-B), offices, administrators, ...
...furthermore, no bathing alone at home. Mommy must be in the bathroom with you for every bath and shower until you leave home.
Rules don’t make kids not swim. But they do generate cash for crooked politicians.
Righto.
Or access to all beaches would have to be fenced off.
And then somebody would be sued for having a fence that can be climbed or cut. Which of course they all can.
Why don’t they just ban water? 100% of people who come into contact with it die.
Why not put solid covers over every creek, river, pond and lake?
Captain,
A Saturday morning LOL
Of course there'll be the enviro-whacko who'll object to the fence, cuz the water snake might get tangled up in it. Or, a low flying bird...well, you get the picture.
“Why not also require a license to get out of bed. It’s very dangerous.”
Exactly!
And come to think of it, life itself is very dangerous! In fact, it’s got a 100% mortality rate!
Life needs to be stopped immediately. I’m gonna demand we set up a new, bloated bureaucracy to prevent it!
Put fences along every pond, stream and river (Except the Rio Grande of course).
-—I am sure glad I crawled under the bed back during the cranberry scare or maybe it was during the “Asian” flu epidemic and have never been out since—bird flu didn’t get me, nuclear winter bypassed me and when the sky fell in the covers saved me—here I am, nearly 72 years old and good as new-—(sarc)
Looking for a lawsuit-lottery payoff.
I imagine there was a sign which read:”No lifeguard on duty, swim at your own risk”.
Not to argue against grieving parents who would be wrong and are acting out of grief (and guilt?).
sometimes life is hard.
On days when life is too hard, I say to myself, “I didn’t ask to be born!”
And that’s when I consider suing my parents.
Make sure and include ALL navigable waterways, including Ditches!
A lot of accidents happen in a bed. Maybe a Lifeguard is needed there. Of course they should be of the opposite gender!
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