Posted on 05/18/2012 7:22:19 PM PDT by floridavoter2
There was a kid at my school who always picked on everyone. But it really wasn’t that bad until he started wearing a cardigan. Then he was a wooly bully.
Ghost in the machine......I’m gonna have to sleep with the lights on tonight......
I agree with this part of what you said. However, if a child doesn't have those kind of parents, they are truly at a disadvantage.
Time has a way of nature getting even. Last year, I met a lady working at the local bank in the town we went to school in years ago. She looked at me and called me by name. I immediately recognized her as the shy girl I often shared bus seats with and she was as beautiful as ever.
I also met a couple of the "popular girls" in my class, and they look about as good as Barbra Streisand without makeup. Talk about getting rode hard and put up wet......
Are you on the warden’s computer again?
Wait.....
Aw hell.
I changed schools all the time moving all over the country growing up. I only saw bullying from the usual suspects but not from everybody or even most students. The nicest kids I went to school with was Texas.
We only lived there a year but it was a navy town and the moms made sure the new kids from military families were included in everything. I had a huge group of friends there and they were so kind to us and loads of fun. God Bless Texas.
I don't think you understand the dynamics of bullying. Bullies typically DON'T target those who are able to fight back. They pick the weakest person, the one they know they can get away with bullying. I surmise from your posts that you are a fairly outgoing guy, probably fairly large and strong, as well. Of course, bullies are going to back down as soon as they test you and see that they can't intimidate you.
If, on the other hand, a small, shy child is the target--those same bullies are like wolves after a lamb. They see perfectly well who can't physically defend themself, who is terrified to speak to teachers or anyone else in authority, who has no friends, etc. In some cases, the child isn't just suffering abuse at school--they also get abused at home, and literally have no one to give support of any kind. That child is extremely unlikely to "stand up" to the bully, and even if they do--the attempt is more likely to result in escalation of the bullying than in any resolution of the matter.
It's easy to say that kids should "just" stand up for themselves, or should "just" tolerate it. Reality isn't that easy. There's no reason at all that children should have to be subjected to bullying, when that kind of behavior is not tolerated anywhere outside of K-12 school.
I was ridiculed throughout my years at school because we didn't have much money and a very large family, and we lived in a very preppy area. And it was relentless. That has nothing to do with who I am or how I feel about myself. Other people do not determine for me who I am.
Likewise, when I started working it was at a factory where I was one of few singles who worked there. I was accused of having affairs with every married man in the place, even had my car sabotaged at one point by one of the friends of a wife in a gossip incident. All because supervisors need to ask people how things are going or ask what the trouble is. In other words it requires talking to them, married or not.
So don't tell me I don't know what I am talking about or if I did I might feel differently. I have faced all kinds of adversity. Those things may have gone into who and what I am as far as strength, but they do NOT determine my attitude, my present, or my future and never will.
And WHY??? In the name of God, would you allow someone in your past, someone of low character steal you life from you, any part of it, in any way?? Think about how they kind of stole your childhood, DO NOT allow them to have any effect on or steal you present and future!
Beating someone up is not bullying, it is assault. Stealing from another is theft, not bullying. Same in school, unfortunately we have allowed the narrative to be changed and everything is relabeled as bullying, when it isn’t. Bullying should not be lumped in with matter for police. And yes parents have a lot to do with it, sadly they fall short in far too many instances.
Again, that is not bullying, it assault!!!
Stupid post. Have you ever taken any courses in psychology? Some experiences in your life change your psyche forever, some for the better, some for worse. For many people, it depends on what foundation was there to begin with what changes will manifest, to what extent, and if those changes will become permanent. A person can consciously work to mitigate those changes to their id or psyche when they recognize them, but that doesn’t mean that all past experiences for others will be overcome to gidget7’s satisfaction or expectations. For many children, it takes a great deal of inner mental strength to come out of such experiences sane or alive at all. Don’t judge me.
But my point is that not all folks are that strong. What works for strong-willed people like you will simply not work for others. That's all that I'm saying.
I am not judging you, I simply asked a question. It was meant to help. You are allowing something from your past to determine your present and future. If that is how you want to live, it is your decision and you have every right to have it. I am simply pointing out, you don’t have to. I was fortunate in that I learned to forgive and move on.
I agree, and it is unfortunate that those who are not strong and seek professional help, don’t get it eh world of psychology today. Instead they are told to be victims and given another appointment for years on end.
I would add, imo, whatever I went though MADE me strong. I also got sweet revenge, when after high school I lost some weight, was able to dress in new clothing instead of hand me downs, and learned to apply make-up and style my hair. When I ran into guys from high school, they would insist I was not who I said I was. Sweet! I was able to laugh and walk away.
It has nothing to do with forgiveness. I can forgive till I’m blue in the face. Your outlook is simplistic. One size does not fit all. I didn’t say my life is completely controlled by my past. I didn’t say I am completely debilitated and non-functioning because of my past. And no one else here has said as much either. I think that if you say your past does not affect your present whatsoever, you’re fooling yourself. We are all products of our past and our experiences ~ positive and negative.
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