The national Archives announced today it has discovered a long lost reel of WW2 footage showing US President Barack Obama personally deflecting the nuclear blast that struck Osaka following the attacks on Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
Following the blast, the DNC, in cooperation with CBS/NBC/ABC and the fledgling Japanese communication industry showed their patriotism by suppressing all traces of the heroic gesture by Obama until they felt the world was ready to know the truth. Today’s revelation in no way coincides with Obama’s sudden drop in the polls following his coming out i Newsweek as the first gay President.
On a side note, House Majority John Boneher announced an investigation into famed insurer Loyyds of London today after it was revealed that insurance rates for the American Kennel Club’s Washington DC show would be raised for the remainder of the Obama presidency.