[Norm Lenhart]

Following a recently reported story regarding the famed Easter Island stone heads and the discovery of their bodies beneath, noted climate researcher James Hansen of NASA has submitted proof by consensus that a lowering of the sea level brought on by the inauguration of U.S. President Barack Obama was responsible for the revelation.

[Lakeshark]

It has also been discovered that Obama has a true lineage of descent from the emperors of Japan, having the pure blood of the original Japanese equivalent of Adam and Eve.