>>Last night for the first time in years, I looked at porn. I’m scum and going to hell, but so is she. Same old crap the first wife did that drove me to the same place.<<
Seriously, before you go onto any more porn, go talk to your pastor. Because you sound like you’re doing everything right. However, either you aren’t seeing the big picture or she is taking total advantage of you.
Don’t lead yourself to sin out of spite. You’re better than that.
It's not spite, it weakness, and it's not some kind of quid pro quo threat I just have my limits. I try and try and after a time I fall short.
The same one who tempts her to say no, tempts me when I'm down.