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Yet she became more and more promiscuous as she recalled the days of her youth, when she was a prostitute in Egypt.

There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.

Ezekiel 23:19-20 NIV

And she cried out to the Democrats in her distress, and said, "My friends cannot take the embarrassment, that our insurance does not pay for our contraception."

And behold, one by one they came unto her, and One said, "I would not that you be punished with a baby. For verily, I am Hussein, the giver of Condoms."

And lo, William Jefferson stepped forward, and said, "Surely I will come again. Go and sin some more, for it depends on what the meaning of the word 'is' is. Have a cigar?"

And Pelosi saw that it was good.

Cheers!