Easy solution, don’t waste money on a fancy wedding just find a justice of the peace.
About your tagline, what is the breech?
It's a clever play on the words "breach" and "breech." The actual expression is "honored in the breach, which signifies that a law or rule is observed by breaking it, i.e., "Lights-out in the dormitory was generally honored in the breach." The word "breech," on the other hand, while it sounds exactly like "breach," means "buttocks." So the laws against sodomy are honored both in the breach and in the breech.